#one of many series' last few episodes i refuse to rewatch because of bad decisions

[sweetteaandpie]

i watched major crimes like my life depended on it. after the way laura roslin shuffled off the fictional mortal coil, i never thought the same fate would happen to darth raydor. it felt like a last minute grab for ratings and not very well thought out or planned. when will television shows learn that you don't have to kill everyone off or do something utterly uncharacteristic to end a show (case in point: the finale of "somebody somewhere").

the use of parental death to further the character development of the child is 1) overdone, 2) to make up for a lack of creativity and original ideas.

i'm a shandy shipper and a brenda/sharon shipper, but i hated how unoriginal the whole sharon and andy storyline was. it seemed so predictable. i wanted better. yes, i was glad to see them together, but i didn't like how it was done. i got the feeling that duff didn't have his heart in it the last season and put minimal effort in.

Never gonna forgive James Duff for killing Willie Rae Johnson. Or Sharon Raydor. Or ruining literally every character we loved like it’s so wild.

[cblgblog]

I'm curious about your take on Wakanda being wronged hard in FaTWS, and by Bucky specifically? I haven't seen many people talk about it, but I'm just angry and confused as to why Bucky was to careless and rude towards Ayo and the Dora Milaje, acting as if their anger about Zemo was an overreaction. Hell, Walker got more respect from him in the end than the Dora did

I'm looking at the writers' perspective here, it was their decision and I'm wondering why. What was the thought behind it? Why did they make Bucky so insensitive? At first I thought it had to be some arc, but nothing came from it. I'm wondering what made them look at this series and think "Yes, let's make Bucky screw over the people that helped him".

It wasn't just him wronging Wakanda, it was his behavior towards Sam too, how he was so ignorant during the cop scene, dismissive of Sam's feelings, and obsessed with the shield to a point of lashing out at Sam for things that weren't his fault. Why was this a choice that was made? Bucky didn't have much personality in the other movies, they could've done anything but they chose this, and I think more people should talk about how wrong that is. Not for Bucky, but for the black people in the series who were wronged.

Okay so here’s the deal. One, I’m white, so know that going in, take my take on this for whatever it’s worth accordingly. Two, I haven’t watched the eps since they aired, with the exception of a couple scenes, so my memory—not so much of events but of specific nuances of how Bucky reacted to them—isn’t fresh.

I say that last part specifically because of Bucky and his interactions with Sam, because ultimately they bother me much less than the Wakanda stuff, and here’s why. Bucky is, to varying degrees depending on situation and episode, a dick to Sam about the shield for most of the series. Undoubtedly. But I get that, to a point. He at least explains his feelings in 1x05, why he reacted like that, and admits he fucked up. He had all his feelings for Steve wrapped up, incorrectly, in that shield, so when Sam just tossed it aside (from Bucky’s perspective), it caused him to freak out/lash out. Which was never fair to Sam, but at least culminated in Bucky recognizing that. Sam keeps saying to him that the two of them have not lived the same experience, the shield and its legacy do not mean the same thing to them, and Bucky finally realizes that. He acknowledges that neither he nor Steve grasped the full reality of the situation, and he apologizes. Does that erase what came before? No, but it’s not supposed to. It’s him acknowledging his own ignorance and trying to do better.

So, at least there’s an arc there, which is the other reason his stuff with Sam bugged me less. There was an evolution in his thinking, there was a change from wah wah, you gave up the shield, to oh wait, I kinda get it now. He realizes that his reactions were wrong, even if his feelings were understandable. Which, on a human level, I think they were. It’s a very human thing for Bucky to equate that shield directly to Steve, and take Sam’s rejection of it as a rejection of Steve. It’s understandable how he got there, given the bizarre nature of Steve’s time travel shenanigans, the nearly endless nightmare that Bucky’s life has been since he fell from the train. Losing yet another 5 years when he’s already lost 70+, all the unprocessed guilt and grief that isn’t helped by him having actually the worst therapist ever, oh my God this woman sucks at her job, she’s funny, but she’s awful. His feelings, I believe, were valid, given everything that went down. His reaction to them—the lashing out, whining, refusing to see Sam’s side of it—his reaction was not valid. But at least he gets to a point where he realizes that. At least there’s an arc.

Could they have found a different way to create conflict in the series? Sure, and I’m not gonna argue with anyone who wishes they had. For me personally, I was okay with it. Bucky’s ignorance and misplaced anger made sense to me. Bit of an aside, one of the few scenes I rewatched for this (because Youtube and knowing exactly where it was) was the cop scene, because you referenced. I’m assuming you mean the bit where Sam gets stopped, gets the ‘calm down sir’ treatment. I didn’t think Bucky was a dick in that scene? He seemed aware of what was happening, given his angry, “No he’s not bothering me, do you know who this is?” It’s actually one of a relatively few instances in the first 5 eps where Bucky does seem genuinely aware that he and Sam don’t live in the same world, even when they’re walking the same street, right next to each other. So, as far as illustrating that, and Bucky coming out of his own feelings long enough to pay attention to Sam’s, I thought it was one of the better scenes.

So, Sam and Bucky, I’m less bothered by. Bucky and Wakanda? That’s a hot garbage fire.

Zemo’s whole inclusion here, and nearly everything related to it, was incredibly botched. He’s randomly rich as fuck now, and a Baron, to match his comics counterpart. Which is not only an incredibly lazy retcon, it kills much of what made his character interesting in CW. In that movie, it was one guy, working alone, limited resources, dedicating himself to his cause. If nothing else, you had to admire his tenacity. Now suddenly he’s got a butler and a plane and piles of cash? Where was that in CW? More importantly…why? What purpose did it serve, besides making him more superficially similar to his comic self?

Why did we detour to him at all? None of his plans ultimately affect the larger narrative all that much. He starts out in prison and…ends up back in prison. Why? Why would the Dora just leave him there? Ayo says that they will bring Zemo back to face Wakandan justice…and then they just don’t. They leave him in the hands of the same people who lost him to two random dudes who were able to bust him out of prison on their own, one of those dudes being an entirely human guy, no enhanced powers, no Serum. In CW, okay, T’Challa did a deal with Everett Ross I guess, fine. But once the Americans proved they couldn’t hold him, it made no sense that the Dora would just go, okay, here you go again. They aren’t Batman. They have no reason to keep throwing the baddies in Arkham Asylum to wait ‘til next week when someone breaks out again.

The Zemo stuff had no arc to it. The only worthwhile thing was Bucky proving to Zemo that he can’t be controlled anymore, but that scene could have come about in a million better ways than it did. Ultimately, the weird little team-up with Zemo feels very cliché and contrived. It feels like a trip down a side road that dead ends to nowhere. It feels like filler, which is a particularly terrible crime when there’s only 6 episodes in the damn season.

Bucky’s dickishness towards Ayo and the other Dora really is baffling, especially when the writers went out of their way to give us that flashback, a direct, show don’t tell indication of all the Wakandans did for him. And it’s not his feelings for Steve that have him acting out this way, or at least it shouldn’t be. Steve has nothing to do with this aspect of things. Steve obviously had trust in and respect for T’Challa, and there’s no reason to think that wouldn’t extend to the Dora as well. Strong, badass women who put it all on the line for their country? Yeah, Steve should/would get that. He would have broken Zemo out of prison, if he thought it was the right call to make, but he also would’ve been like yeah, I did that, I understand that I fucked you over, I’m fully prepared to accept the consequences of that once my mission is complete, I’m sorry it went down like this. See the, “I’d like to surrender myself for disciplinary action,” he gives Phillips in First Avenger, after he goes to rescue the 107th. If it’s an authority he respects and acknowledges as having good intentions (Phillips as opposed to the Accords), Steve will ultimately give that respect back, even if he goes off to do his own thing first. He respected T’Challa and Wakanda. Bucky should have respected them even more, given his more direct connection, given the flashback scene in FatWS, given his acknowledgement that Wakanda and it’s people gave him a rare respite, a calm in the shit storm that’s been his life since 1945.

So yeah, it doesn’t make sense that he was so flippant and dismissive towards Ayo and the rest. It makes even less sense that they put up with it. It’s bad writing, that’s all I’ve got. The show is incredibly irritating, in that a lot of the plot-driven stuff is pretty fucking awful, but most of the character study stuff for Sam and Bucky is so good.

[robronsecretsanta]

a madness to the method

(AO3)

Rating: E

For @notforonesecond . Merry Christmas! From your Secret Santa. May this bring you as much joy as your presence on here brings me.

:::::

He stands there, script page in hand and a growing pit in his stomach, as Robert Sugden walks up to him with a grin.

“What you waiting for? Get your kit off.”

:::::

It’s his third big role, but the first one that actually means something, Aaron having acted in a couple of big-budget blockbuster films to date; the last two even giving him some lines and some stunts, the latter of which he’d done himself. But so far most of his career has involved plenty of little-known stage work and a few well-received indies, as well as a particularly popular episode of Black Mirror.

He’s fairly certain that’s what landed him this script, his wide body of emotionally driven work. Not every day a Frank Clayton production sends a part your way. Not every day Harriet Finch is attached to direct. (Aaron’s pretty sure he’s one of the few people who’s seen the entirety of her oeuvre, even purchased some of the early stuff on DVD, forcing his best mate Adam to sit through whole movie marathons of her work, dissecting every shot inch by inch.)

The film’s a period piece about two young men who fall in love as a war looms over them; two lovers star-crossed in one of the worst ways possible. Both stuck going to war terrified the other won’t come home. Only they do, if not a little emotionally scarred and a little physically injured. The reunion is emotionally sweet and full of hope — exactly the kind of story Aaron wishes he could have grown up with. Because sometimes a happy ending really makes a difference. He’d almost learned that hard way.  

“You sure you want to do this?” His mother asks, curled up on his sofa in his flat in North London and peaking up at him with big brown eyes through dark, bit-too-long bangs. “People might start asking whether you’re gay, love.”

Aaron understands her concerns and where she’s coming from. Doesn’t stop him from shrugging them off and holding firm to the feeling in his gut.

“Let them,” he says, lips downturned at the corners as he paces across the living room determinedly. “Not got anything to hide, have I?”

Despite all his bravado, there’s a flicker of doubt. If this somewhat calculated risk doesn’t pan out, it could be the end of the upward trajectory of his acting career. For all it’s progress on the LGBTQIA-depiction front, Hollywood itself isn’t as accepting of openly queer actors. And while Aaron won’t miss the perks of rising fame at all, he will miss getting to work on more interesting projects or movies, like this one.

Still, Aaron Dingle has never been a liar, and he’s not going to start now. Especially when it comes to his sexuality.

:::::

His agent, a no-nonsense woman named Priya, approves of his decision immediately. She knows he’s gay, has known from the start. But it’s never affected her decision to take him on as a client. (It’s one of the reasons Aaron’s stuck with her so long; tying his rising star to her job.)

“You’ve certainly got the talent and the range to pull this off,” she states and it feels less like a dream and more like reality. “With Finch directing it, this could become potential Oscar material. This part’ll definitely get you noticed.”

Aaron smiles and nods along, because that is nice he supposes. He’s just glad the production company don’t want yet another audition, or even a chemistry read with his yet-to-be-announced co-star. He’s sick of them at this point.

“Who’s the other lead?” He asks, fingers picking at each other, left knee bouncing in the chair. He’s about ready to leave Priya’s office. But the second he hears her answer, he’s stuck bolted to his seat. His mind reeling with the news of it.

Robert Sugden.

:::::

To say he’s heard of Robert Sugden is the understatement of the century. If anything, he’s the one responsible for Aaron’s sexual awakening.

Like most teenage boys his age, he’d been obsessed with the Transformers movies. Only unlike his best mate Adam, he didn’t fall asleep and wake up hard to thoughts of the hot female lead. No, despite his best attempts at the time, his mind always drifted to the slightly older but also teenaged Robert Sugden; the son of a famous actor who’d also made it big quite young, starring in at least two popular TV series. (In hindsight, Aaron’s desire to purchase and put up a shirtless poster of Robert on his bedroom wall should have been a big hint as to his nascent gayness. But like all sexually confused teenagers he’d managed to convince himself he was more into the trucks instead; that he wanted to be Robert Sugden, not be with him.)

He’d spent a full summer when he was 15 watching his way through Robert’s early work, bingeing that one popular science fiction series where he and a group of teens investigated strange paranormal phenomena at their English boarding school. A part of him had come alive when a body-swap episode had caused Robert’s character’s body to be a possessed by a female friend’s, resulting in him kissing and making out with her boyfriend who’d been played by Pete Barton. (Aaron had spent the ensuing weeks reading and rewatching everything to with those few minutes of airtime, refusing to let anyone play over his recording. He’d worn out the tape till it could play no longer.)  

The first time he’d come was a few weeks later, Robert’s name on his lips as he’d pictured being kissed by him, his hand moving up and down the length of his naked shaft faster and faster; rock hard and aching at just the thought of him.

Robert. Fucking. Sugden.

What are the odds?

He doesn’t know whether to quit the project or just die of mortification. How is he supposed to act against someone he’s had those kinds of thoughts about? (He’s never had limits for who you should love and be with. After all, that would be a tad hypocritical of him. But some lines shouldn’t be crossed, no matter the project, and he’s fairly convinced this is one of them.)

He mentions this to Adam when he comes over to play FIFA on the PS4 later, only his best mate doesn’t quite seem to get it. Though to be fair, he’s never really had to deal with this, has he?

“So what? You used to jerk off to him. Big deal!” Adam shrugs, cycling through the options and picking his players. “If I said I’d avoid every female celeb I did that with, I wouldn’t be able to work with any of them.”

Aaron makes a face, even if he does concede that Adam has a point — not that he’s out there having to act against… (He’s actually not sure who this week’s flavour of the month is. Adam’s feelings of attraction waxing and waning like the moon.)

“Though,” Adam says, turning to look at him when he’s satisfied with his choices. “His sister Victoria is pretty fit. Do you think you could get her number?”

Aaron tosses a cushion at his face. Leave it to Adam to miss the point completely.

It bounces off and falls onto Adam’s lap, he picks it up and places it beside him.

When he turns toward Aaron this time, he looks a lot more serious, an earnestness in his gaze that wasn’t there before.

“Listen,” he says, voice soft yet firm. “You’ve wanted to be in one of Finch’s movies ever since I’ve known ya. Don’t back out now just because of Sugden.”

Aaron nods, though he’s still not convinced. Adam must see it because he then adds, “You’ll do fine. You’re an amazing actor. That’s why they wanted you for this part, you know, instead of me.”

Aaron shoots him a look and Adam just shrugs. Turns his attention back to the TV screen as he says, “What? I’m a scene stealer. Everyone knows that.”

That triggers a laugh and when it’s over, Aaron feels a lot lighter. But even as they both accept their team and kit selections and start the game, his mind drifts back to a young, shirtless Robert…

:::::

He keeps the part after all, the announcement making some waves in the press. However, any intrusiveness into his personal life is circumvented by the latest news about Robert. Rumour has it that he’s up for consideration as the new James Bond. Aaron had laughed when he’d first read the news. But laying in bed, later that night, he can’t help but picture Robert in a trademark suit, smirking down the barrel of a gun, the way he’s become known for.

It’s enough to make him shaken and stirred — not that he lifts a finger to relieve himself of the dull, building throb. (If there’s one thing Aaron Dingle’s sure about, it’s that it’s impolite to pleasure oneself to the thoughts of an upcoming co-star. Even if they were the starring role in his teenage fantasies.)

He ends up taking a cold shower instead.

:::::

Meeting Harriet Finch is everything like he’d imagined, and yet nothing like it at all.

Aaron spends all morning practicing what he wants to say to her, pacing back and forth in his newly assigned trailer — which happens to be both bigger and more luxurious than he’d expected. None of the words of praise he’s wanted to lavish her with seeming right for the moment, or even worthy of her, but he keeps practicing all the same.

That’s why he’s thrown when she comes to see him, telling him how much she’d enjoyed his turn in a small play he’d done last summer as a favour to an old friend (and ex-boyfriend), Ed.

She smiles at him with kind, dark eyes and outlines the many ways in which he’d knocked that role out of the park, followed by his performance in those few movies and, of course, Black Mirror.

“I knew you were the right man for the part the moment I saw you,” she says, voice like a warm woollen blanket, the words wrapping him up in a cocoon of comfort. “You’ll make a marvellous ‘Thomas.’ I just know it. I’m glad to have you on this project.”

But just as he’s basking in the glow of her reassurance, she asks the dreaded question.

“Have you met Robert Sugden?”

:::::

If first meetings dictate how the rest of a working relationship might go, Robert and Aaron’s is already off to a really bad start.

He’d shown up to Robert’s trailer and gone in after knocking a few times, only to find him in the throes of being orally pleasured.

Aaron hadn’t recognised the woman, just seen the back of her head, as she’d kneeled in front of Robert and blown him. Robert was sitting on the edge of his trailer’s bed and leaning back, both arms supporting his weight across the still-made comforter. His shirt was unbuttoned and he’d got his leather jacket on, neck exposed as he half lay there jerking and groaning.

He’d seemed to sense Aaron because Robert had looked up at once, locking eyes across the short distance. He’d given him a long hard look, then flashed him a wink and a smile, before closing his eyes and coming into the woman’s mouth not very long after.

Cheeks reddening and more than a little shocked, Aaron had turned and bolted. He’d wanted to spare that poor woman the embarrassment of knowing he’d seen this happening, but more importantly, process it all himself.

Standing in his own trailer he wants to kick himself for being such a goddamn fool. The tabloids had been reporting this side of Robert Sugden for years on end. But Aaron had ignored them because that’s what you were supposed to do. (And maybe, he tries not to acknowledge as his heart continues to pound, because it had ruined his fantasy of Robert and his younger self.)

But for all his talent — and he has plenty of it — Robert Sugden has always been a bit of a playboy; has the ex-wife and half a dozen ex-girlfriends to prove it. The result of this is a respectable body of work, but no one noticing because of all the gossip. (Aaron had once suspected this was Robert trying to undersell himself, maybe a bit nervous of all the extended limelight. He’d grown up Jack Sugden’s son, had had to bear that mantle, while also carving a name for himself, with not much room for error.)

Any sympathy he’d once felt though, has now been stripped away, replaced with cold, hard knowledge. Robert Sugden actually enjoys behaving like this, and Aaron can’t believe he’d liked him.

As he starts pacing, his heart still racing, Aaron gets madder and madder. They’ve both been given a golden opportunity being cast in these roles, and it’s something Robert wants to squander?

He’d wanted to walk away from this project because he’d been worried about his own personal hang-ups. Not wanting any former feelings for Robert to affect his performance. But now all he can think about is Robert’s smile and his wink, as if showing off his sexual prowess to Aaron.

This feels good, and I made that happen. Maybe I can do that for you as well?

Aaron growls, feels like punching something nearby, hating the small part of him that had kind of enjoyed it; that place deep within himself that still tends a tiny flame devoted to Robert Sugden; that place that had enjoyed watching him come.

It’s not your fault, Aaron tells himself, trying to banish the recent memory from his mind — though he’d spent years picturing and imaging exactly that. Him blowing Robert and feeling him coming under him, his palms flat against his thighs. (Sometimes he’d imagine the flip of it too. Him coming apart in Robert’s hands, his mouth smirking as Aaron comes right into it.)

He’s just managed to get rid of it, when he hears a dry chuckle, spins around to find Robert standing in his trailer, blue shirt all buttoned and jeans up and belted, like that midday blowjob hadn’t happened.

He smiles at him, blue-green eyes glittering, “So I take it you’re Aaron Dingle.”

It sends a thrill up his neck, short hairs lightly lifting, at the prospect of Robert Sugden saying his name. But then annoyance sets in as that memory comes back and Aaron grunts his affirmation.

“What do you want?”

Robert doesn’t seem deterred, doesn’t even seem to clock his rudeness. Just smiles at him like he said something funny. “To apologise. That wasn’t how I’d pictured our first meeting.”

“Why? You plan on having your cock in someone else’s mouth?” Aaron fires back, a little shocked that Robert had ever given meeting him any thought.

Robert’s eyes widen at the accusation, but whatever it is that came over him passes because he laughs and clears his throat. “No. Wasn’t planning to, actually. Just wanted to tell you what a big fan I am.”

His eyes flit away, and his smile kind of softens. Robert looks back at Aaron. “And that I’m looking forward to us working together.”

If Aaron hadn’t seen what he’d seen, he’d believe every word of this, Robert coming across well-meaning and earnest. But then he remembers just how good of an actor his co-star-to-be really is and snorts. “Nice try. Hope you’re better on camera.”

Robert winces at that, but his smile remains, even if it’s starting to look a little brittle.

“I’m sorry about what happened, alright?” Robert says, frustration colouring his voice at the edges. Aaron can see that this really is paining him; Robert not that good of an actor. “Let’s start over.”

He takes a step forward and holds out his hand. “Hi. I’m Robert Sugden.”

Aaron ignores it, crosses his arms across his chest.

“I know who you are,” he spits out.

Robert looks confused, studies him further before withdrawing his hand and eventually letting it drop. He puts it in his jacket pocket and renews his smile at Aaron. It’s just as small and soft as earlier.

“I’m trying, you know,” he says and Aaron can feel himself willing to give him that inch, to soften and forgive Robert so they can start over. But then he thinks about how smug and cocky he’d been just before he’d come right in front of him, and a wave of pulsing, hot annoyance shoots right through him.

“Then try harder,” Aaron half-growls, taking a small step further. And then, “And maybe try keepin’ your dick to yourself.”

:::::

Production kicks off without any further hitches, and he quickly gets to know the rest of their cast and crew — even becoming friends with a production assistant named Ellis.

Though most of the time Aaron just stays put in his trailer, constantly rehearsing and working on his character.

Harriet seems happy with his performance so far, giving him any extra takes he wants to do. But Aaron hasn’t been able to get in a groove that makes him truly happy; where he has an understanding of his character inside and out.

From the script, his own chat with Harriet, and the homework he’s done, he knows “Thomas James” to be a straightforward fellow, a little tentative, but earnest with his feelings.

He’s a farmer who owns and works his own farm, before one day he runs into Felix, his new and struggling neighbour. Felix’s family has lost most of their estate; bad debts and investments before the beginnings of the war hit. All they have now, is this one farm to their name, and Felix, a city boy — or rather, man — through and through has no clue how to run it.

Unable to stand it, Thomas steps in to help him, and Felix promises to do his accounts in trade. Thomas agrees, the spark between them growing and burning brighter.

Robert and he have played and shot a handful of those initial scenes, mostly set up for the rest of the story. But as their characters have seemed to find an easy camaraderie, there barely exists one between them.

For his part, Robert hasn’t really paused his efforts to win Aaron over, always making jokes and trying to give him an opening. Internally, Aaron struggles not to let go and give in, not having run into Robert with his cock down someone else’s throat since.

He doesn’t understand how Robert can just switch into his role and then right out of it, a slippery fish if there ever was one. He throws on Felix’s skin like it’s one of those button-up shirts he so favours, constantly remaining in costume longer than needed. (Aaron actually doesn’t mind that because it’s easy on the eyes and for their characters, Robert wearing 1920 period garb like he was born for it.)

Felix is smart and inept, but also charming and funny, a gay man in his shell, with no real interest in marriage. Just a blushing eye turned towards Thomas.

And that’s the part that kind of stings in their scenes, because it’s in those moments that Aaron feels he can really see the Robert he once had a crush on; a hint of him shining through.

It’s in Robert’s small smiles and the soft in his eyes, the blue-green of them a warm summer ocean.

But then Harriet says, “Cut” and it all disappears, Robert’s eyes growing cooler, his body more indifferent; tensed and held in a way he doesn’t when he’s Felix, like he’s holding a deep breath in.

That’s the first thing Aaron notices as they take a break before they shoot their first big scene, a first kiss where both men realise their mutual attraction.

They’re standing in a field, where Felix’s tractor has broken down, and Thomas has ridden up in his horse to help fix it.

As Aaron walks through the wet grass, his period accurate boots and jeans sinking into the mud a little, he gets his first glimpse of Robert.

His shirt sleeves are rolled back and his brow is plastered with sweat. He’s clearly been out in a full afternoon of labour.

They go through the dialogue, Felix directing Thomas to the back of the tractor, some kind of malfunction trapped within it. Thomas gives it a look, and Aaron produces a short grunt of surveyance, really giving it a decent study.

Then exhaling slowly he offers Thomas’ suggestion, that sometimes you just need to push it. He does as he says, and gives the tractor a shove, before letting his knees soften and himself fall forward in the muck.

Above him, he can hear Robert’s laughter bursting forth loud and clear, and he knows instantly it’s not his acting as Felix. He turns to his side and shoots Robert a dirty look, but in his chest his heart skips a beat at it.

Finally springing into action Felix leans forward and offers Thomas a hand, Robert bending and extending his hand out. The laughter still shines in his eyes, even if it’s not coming out his lips, his breath still short and him still panting.

Something surges in Aaron and he feels Thomas’ quiet sense of humour, reaches up and pulls Robert down towards him.

Robert captures all of Felix’ (and probably some of his own) surprise, his own knees bending as he falls atop Aaron; the hard firmness of his limbs utterly unexpected, and yet fitting against him perfectly.

He’s now laying on his back in the mud, feeling the cold soak into his tough warm denim, the flannel of his shirt doing little to protect him. But none of that matters as Robert gazes down at him, both their chests pressed together.

The script says this is where Felix kisses Thomas, too physically close for any more doubted restraint. Only Robert hasn’t moved, just keeps on laying there, mere centimetres away, his eyes trained down on Aaron’s lips, as if frozen by disbelief and nervousness.

Probably just nervous about kissing another man, Aaron thinks, flashing back to Robert kissing Pete Barton, and the way his hands had cupped his face. Probably worried that this time someone might think he’s gay.

Deep inside Aaron, something aches. He lets out a small, frustrated huff, his head relaxing back into the wet dirt, resigning himself to a long wait.

And then it’s like something snaps, because Robert leans forward, lunging for his lips with everything he has; his tongue barely waiting as Aaron’s lips part. (They hadn’t rehearsed this, or even really discussed it. Aaron not wanting to spend more time around Robert than entirely necessary.)

But as he lays here now, Aaron can’t help but give himself over to it, letting Robert’s fingers skim his sides before they bunch up in the warmth of his flannel shirt, his hands finding their way onto Robert’s lower back and his hair. He holds Robert’s head firm as he deepens the kiss. His co-star isn’t the only one who can improvise.

He doesn’t feel the lack of oxygen until the tail end of a groan, too deep into it to know if it’s from him or Robert.

When they pull apart both of them are panting. Robert’s gaze comes back up and they lock eyes again, a lock of his blonde hair dropping onto Aaron’s forehead, as his breath continues to tickle his lips; both wet and a little blitzed.

Deep in the depths of Robert’s green and blues, Aaron sees a spark of searching nervousness and hesitation. He brushes that bit of hair back almost without thinking; an unconscious act of soothing.

He can hear Robert’s breath hitch at the feel of his thumb pad on his skin, sees the way his eyes drop back down to Aaron’s lips. No longer nervous, and still barely thinking, Aaron leans up and presses another kiss to his lips, this time a more sweet and chaste one.

When he pulls back, Robert still has his eyes closed, almost cute in his stunned still surprise. Aaron finds himself smiling and recording this picture mentally; filled with the desire to go back in time and tell himself, “We kissed Robert Sugden!”

Robert opens his eyes and a second later Harriet yells, “Cut!” Aaron can’t help but feel interrupted.

What did you want to say? He wants to ask, as they both get to their feet. Aaron barely makes an attempt to clean himself off. He knows he needs a good shower.

Next to him, Robert seems to be avoiding his eyes, focusing a little too hard on dusting his pants off. Aaron tries not to spend too much time admiring his bum in the process.

They’re walking off set, when Robert makes the joke, voice flippant and tone just insulting.

“Feel like hitting a strip club, eh?” He says with what is meant to be a playful nudge. “Need to see some naked tits, pronto.”

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, this being a movie and all, but it still stings hard and deep all the same.

Aaron feels hot anger come over him without much warning, and he explodes back at Robert in a rage.

“All of this is just one big joke to ya, isn’t it?” He practically spits out the words in a low, angry growl as he shoves Robert backwards into a nearby trailer.

He doesn’t care if anyone’s nearby, or if they even see him. All he can see and hear is Robert.

“These are people’s lives,” he continues, the line of his right forearm held against Robert’s chest, constricting the way he breathes slightly. “Do you even get that?”

“It’s just a joke,” Robert answers, sounding both defensive and soft.

Aaron couldn’t give a toss about it.

“Excuse me if I don’t think bein’ gay is funny,” he fires back, leans in a little and lets the anger radiate off his face, hoping Robert gets the message.

Apparently, he does, because his eyes just widen, and then he’s saying, “Aaron, I’m sorry. I didn’t-“

He knows he’s not exactly hiding his sexuality, but Aaron isn’t really advertising it either, so it sends him reeling back the second he realises Robert has figured out he’s gay.

He stands there panting, anger being replaced by panic, the air evacuating his lungs just as his heart takes residence in his ears.

He turns and walks away before his balance decides to go, can feel his knees weakening with each step he takes; thinks he hears Robert calling at him in the distance.

Calling him because he knows this thing about him.

Calling him because he knows he’s gay.

Shit.

:::::

He’s exiting his trailer when he runs into Robert again. Aaron almost bolts the instant he sees him — only to realise he’s blocking his way.

“Aaron, wait,” Robert pleads, looking up at him from the bottom of those short metal stairs. Aaron almost turns around and goes back inside.

But then he notices that Robert is still in his costume — which is not too much of a surprise — but it’s a sign that he’s been waiting outside this entire time. As much as he doesn’t want to, Aaron knows he must honour that. From what he’s seen, Robert Sugden does that for no one.

“You going to invite me inside?” Robert asks when he sees Aaron willingly to stick around in his trailer doorway.. His attempt at a teasing smile fades when he gets Aaron’s answer.

“Whatever you want to say in there, you can say out here.” Aaron crosses his hoodie-covered arms across his chest, retaining the warmth within it.

Robert nods, and takes one step higher, making this whole conversation a little more private. Aaron can smell him, even standing a few inches away; the intermingled scent of mud and sweat and Robert. (The note is slightly floral but kind of muted like Lavender, but Aaron can’t be sure because he doesn’t know flowers.)

“Sorry I made those jokes earlier,” Robert says softly, and Aaron can see that he’s being absolutely serious. “I don’t think being gay is funny…”

Aaron doesn’t say anything, just keeps on watching. He can see that Robert is on the edge of something.

After what feels likes very long pause, it finally drops. “… because I’m actually bisexual.”

He can’t seem to meet Aaron’s eyes as he says that, his cheeks going pink as he looks away and to the left. Standing this close Aaron can feel the tension radiating off of him in waves, coming over him in rapid succession.

Aaron swallows, not sure what exactly to make of it; his teenage dreams all coming true in an instant. So he bites his tongue and holds back his first three replies, and then offers the one he feels is most supportive.

“Thanks for telling me,” he says and he finds that he means it. He’s actually a little touched by Robert’s choice to trust him.

“Figured it was the least I owe you,” Robert says with a shy smile, and for a second Aaron really feels like he’s looking at Felix.

His inner Thomas makes him return it.

“That why you wanted to do this movie?” Aaron asks when the moment eventually passes. It’s a big question he knows, but he needs an answer.

“No, actually,” Robert explains with a chuckle, something raw and unguarded about him now. Like he’s been acting this entire time Aaron has known him.

“I’m a big fan of hers,” Robert says with an excited smile. “She was my mum’s favourite director.”

Aaron gets it and gives him a nod. “Yeah, I’m a big fan myself.”

Robert grins at this little piece of information, a bigger reward than he was expecting.

“Guess this means we should definitely be friends,” Robert suggests, shyness still lacing his voice. “Don’t know many people who’ve even heard of Harriet.”

Aaron studies Robert, takes the entirety of him in, considers it and then shrugs. “Guess you’re not a complete idiot.”

Robert’s smile when he says that is radiant.

:::::

That night he dreams of Robert, the same one he’d had when he was fifteen. Only this time his brain fills in all the missing details.

He needs another shower in the morning.

:::::

Things improve on set by a thousandfold. Robert’s one-sided jibes giving way to Aaron returning them, both of them ribbing and teasing each other between takes. Robert somehow becomes a mainstay on his trailer’s sofa, as they hang out a lot more between scenes, running lines and even whole scenes together.

They seem to have found a quiet understanding when it comes to each other and their space.. (Though, coming out to each other does that, Aaron supposes.)

It’s crazy, but he genuinely thinks it makes both of their scenes better. Both of them now freer with how they move and touch each other. Aaron had once read somewhere that it has to do with the language of how queer people sometimes act and speak; a quiet understanding of how love can be writ across their bodies. He doesn’t know how much he agrees with that exactly. But he does feel it when Robert hugs him as Felix.

It’s a gentle gesture, Robert coming from behind and embracing him around the waist, one hand coming up to rest over Aaron’s heart. Aaron presses those fingers close to his chest, letting Robert feel the steady rise of his heartbeat as he sinks back into him; Thomas leaning into Felix.

They stand like that in silence for a moment longer, Robert’s chin on Aaron’s shoulder, both of them

bathing in the pale sunlight of a cool autumn morning, as filtered through the dusty windows of Thomas’ work shed.

It’s as they’re standing, silently breathing and hearts quickly beating that Aaron is seized by a sudden urge. Following the wave of it, he brings Robert’s fingers up to his lips, gently pressing a kiss on each knuckle as if soothing away newly-formed blisters — the results of Felix’ recent hard labour.

The moment his lips touch skin he hears Robert’s breath hitch, but it only guides him forward. He holds that last kiss longest, before pulling away and spinning them around, Robert’s back now pressing into the edge of Thomas’ workstation, their hands caught between them; Aaron’s fingers wrapped around Robert’s wrist, his thumb resting on his speeding pulse.

Robert for his part, seems to be trusting Aaron implicitly as he gazes down at Aaron first with surprise and then excitement. He smiles softly, clearly anticipating a kiss. Aaron smiles back and obliges him.

It’s completely unscripted and wholly them and yet none of it feels any bit of wrong. Aaron leans forward, slowly edging closer, his eyes locked into Robert’s. He hovers for a second, feels his breath bounce off Robert’s lips, then dips forward and claims them.

This kiss doesn’t progress as quickly as the first one did, Robert letting Aaron set the pace by which they go by. So he takes his time, focuses on nipping at Robert’s bottom lip; gentle kisses that should convey Thomas’ affections.

But then Robert’s hands start to slide across his back, pulling and holding him closer — only nothing about the gesture feels overtly sexual. It’s just two men standing and savouring the act of kissing, two men revelling in their affections.

They kiss a little longer, the pace still languid, Robert letting him take his sweet time, before Aaron decides to pause and not take it any further.

He pulls away, lets out his own small exhale — the matching one to Robert’s. He smiles at him, Robert returns it. Then with another small breath he leans his forehead against the other man’s; shuts his eyes and feels the feel of his skin against his own.

A few seconds pass, Robert still holding him close, Aaron feeling like he’s just survived a continuous free fall.

It’s in the middle of this that he hears Harriet’s quietly spoken words, “And that’s a wrap. Not going to get a better take than that one.”

:::::

He’s on his way off set when Robert catches up with him, grabbing his elbow to still him.

He doesn’t let go even when Aaron stops in place, only does when Aaron looks at him questioningly, despite the whole thing feeling natural.

“You doing anything later?” Robert asks, both hands in his leather jacket pockets, a leather messenger bag slung across his chest and shoulders. “Thought you might like to come over for a drink.”

Aaron considers it, gives it a long hard thought, but it must make Robert panic because he blurts out, “We can run lines or something.”

“Yeah, okay,” Aaron tells him, giving him a nod. And then, because he thinks Robert might have the wrong impression of him and he doesn’t at all like that.

“We don’t always have to work, you know. I do have other interests..”

Robert grins and nudges him in the side. Then he goes into an impression of Aaron.

“I’m Aaron Dingle and I think work is fun. If you don’t, then you’re a right idiot.”

Aaron tries not to, but he can’t stop himself chuckling, a little charmed by Robert’s intonation.

:::::

He finds that Robert’s home is nothing like he’d imagined, more lived in and comfortable than overly posh — though he has all sorts of shiny appliances in the kitchen. A mark of either a man who cooks, or just someone who likes the aesthetic. (Aaron is willing to bet it’s the first one.)

The bookshelves — of which there are two big ones — are stuffed to the gills, brimming with books threatening to fall off them. The walls, a nice calming shade of blue, are covered in posters paying homage to some of his favourite works of science fiction.

“Didn’t know you were such a nerd,” Aaron says when he’s got a drink in hand, as he looks up at a poster of The Xavier Files, the show he’d been more than a little obsessed with. Robert is standing front and centre as the star, his boarding school uniform fitting him flatteringly. (Aaron swallows, his blood growing warmer as he understands where certain fantasies might have originated from. He tries not to think about it in case he’ll need another cold shower. He’s already taken one before coming to this place.)

“You just don’t understand art,” Robert retorts, coming over to join him. He looks at the poster for a good second and then adds, “Or quality science fiction.”

Aaron snorts at that, unable to contain himself. “Think you’re using the term rather loosely. The ‘Gavoorians’? Come on.”

Robert looks at him in surprise, and maybe a hint of pleasure, as he says, “Don’t tell me youwatched it?”

Aaron goes red, feels his mouth turn dry, so he answers as honestly as he can, trying not to let the truth of the matter slip out even as he looks Robert in the eye.

“Might have caught an episode or two one summer,” he says, voice straining to remain casual. Then he adds, because he can’t help himself, “Saw the one where you kissed Pete Barton.”

Robert’s face goes from surprise to embarrassment to all-out amusement, barking a laugh with his neck tipped back, his shoulders relaxing and also dipping down. Aaron’s never seen him this joyful.

“What?” Robert says, growing suddenly conscious, his laughter fading and his body going still. His cheeks are pink as he studies Aaron.

“Nothing,” Aaron shrugs, voice above a whisper. His ears are hot, his pulse pounding. ��Just wasn’t expecting this reaction, is all.”

“Well, it’s a bit of a surprise,” Robert explains, as if it all makes sense. “Didn’t think you’d have even heard of it, let alone watched it.”

“Why not? Because I don’t understand ‘science fiction’?” Aaron teases, oddly thrilled at subverting Robert’s expectations like this. “Don’t have to watch a lot to understand quality.”

“So you agree,” Robert smirks, nudging him with his elbow, a twinkle in his eye. “It is science fiction.”

Aaron snorts, nudges him back. “I suppose. But you’re really stretching the definition.”

They smile at each other, then go back to sipping their drinks, settling comfortably in the silence.

“I loved working on that show,” Robert says after quite a long beat, his voice holding a note of pride. But it’s quiet and with absolutely no hint of preening. “And kissing Pete wasn’t half bad either.”

Aaron feels his cheeks redden as he pictures it again, teenage Pete and Robert going at it.

“Did you have a crush on him, or something?” He looks down at the glass in his hand. He’d never thought he’d be having this conversation with Robert Sugden.

“God, no.” Robert shakes his head beside him. “Pete was pretty fit, but he’s pretty much as straight as they come.”

He waits a beat and then adds, “Decent kisser though.”

How about me? Am I decent too? Aaron wants to ask. But he just chuckles in amusement, enjoying this behind the scenes glimpse into one of his favourite episodes of television ever.

“But what about you?” Robert asks, turning his attention to Aaron. He finishes the last of his drink and asks, “Did you fancy him?”

His smile is conspiratorial and all kinds of knowing. His eyes are dark but inscrutable. Aaron’s cheeks redden despite himself, as he struggles not to blurt out, No. I fancied you, you idiot.

What he does manage to say, after a long moment of waiting, is, “Well, I wasn’t watching for the plot. Was I?”

It doesn’t feel like lying, because it is completely true. Though he does see the flash of something in Robert’s eyes. It disappears behind a laugh a moment later.

“No, I guess not,” Robert concedes, turning and walking over to the sofa. When he takes his seat, it’s with his legs spread wide, all the focus on his crotch. Aaron struggles to not let his gaze drift downward, keeping it trained on Robert’s face instead. And honestly, it’s worth it.

Robert’s smiling up at Aaron, buzzing with excitement. Aaron smiles back because it’s infectious.

“If you liked The Xavier Files, there’s a film you should check out,” he says, switching on his TV, Aaron no longer the focus of his attention. He pulls up Netflix, slowly searches through it, before he asks, “Have you seen The Cabin in the Woods?”

The way he’s looking at Aaron now is just pulling at all his heartstrings, an element of youth befalling all of Robert’s features. His eyes are sparkling, his smile is crooked, and his excitement is radiating off of him.

Robert Sugden: Horror fan.

“Uh, no, I haven’t,” Aaron says shaking his head to clear it. It wouldn’t do to fall for Robert Sugden again. Not when he’s a full-fledged adult. Not when he could accidentally act on it. (Aaron’s always has a rule against dating fellow co-stars or crew members. But no one’s been openly queer enough to test that — or even simply Robert Sugden.)

“Oh, you’re in for a treat,” Robert says patting the sofa seat beside him. Aaron glances at the screen where the movie is waiting, already cued up, then goes ahead and joins him. “Joss Whedon wrote and directed it.”

Even sitting next to Robert makes his heart rate spike, as does the warmth he feels from his proximity. Robert’s choice to sit in the middle of the sofa and almost spread himself out means he’s just a few fingers far away from Aaron, their hands centimetres apart on the same cushion; the dip caused by Aaron sitting causing Robert’s hand to slide a little closer to him.

He barely manages a nod when he hears Robert talk to him, asking him if he can start the movie. (He would have said yes, but his tongue has ceased to work. Another symptom of sitting next to Robert.)

The film begins and Robert reaches forward and places the remote on the coffee table and suddenly Aaron can focus once more; the thought of Robert accidentally touching him no longer playing on his mind, now free to enjoy the movie.

But as he watches the story of a group of friends — one played by Chris Hemsworth — who decide to spend a weekend in a cabin in the woods, there’s a growing sense of disappointment.

He quickly looks over to Robert’s hands in his lap, and starts to wish they were once again closer.

:::::

He doesn’t have to worry for very much longer, Robert reaching out and grabbing his forearm, when the movie presents its first real scare. Aaron isn’t expecting it, the move causing his heart rate to surge for the monster on screen itself, the feeling of warm, solid fingers clutching him clear even through thick fabric.

As it turns out Robert’s not a very passive watcher, constantly leaning over to make asides or jokes. But mostly it’s all facts he finds fun about the movie. (Aaron agrees. They’re actually quite interesting.)

It’s sweet, Aaron thinks, as he gets more and more invested, both fretting for the imperilled college students and watching Robert.

Gone is the tall and handsome actor who practically grew up in the limelight. In his stead sits a tall, handsome, and surprisingly knowledgeable genre film buff. He’s on the edge of his seat and mostly turned toward Aaron, a bit of a contrasting match to his own seating. (Aaron’s sat back, leaning on the right arm of the sofa, a little too tired to really make himself sit up properly.)

There’s another scare. Robert’s grip tightens. Aaron hides a chuckle at Robert’s expression, the shock of fear stealing the words out of his mouth. He’s left eyes wide, mouth open, and gaping. It’s almost as if this is his first time watching the movie.

Robert doesn’t seem to notice himself holding Aaron’s arm as the movie ticks on, and for his part, Aaron doesn’t alert him.

:::::

He’s enjoying the movie well enough when Robert excitedly tugs at his arm.

“This is my favourite part,” he says, before turning to look at Aaron, eyes crinkling in delight at the edges.

He’s not sure what it is in that moment — the steady warmth of Robert’s grip, the pinks of his cheeks undercutting his freckles, or the reminder of how much he used to want him — but there’s a swell in his chest and Aaron leans forward and steals a kiss from Robert.

His lips feel just like they have every other time, soft, firm, and tender. But unlike all those times they’ve kissed on camera, his co-star isn’t responding.

Panic sets in and Aaron instantly pulls back. He sees that Robert is frozen in surprise; lips barely puckered. Instantly, he realises he got carried away by his feelings, and so backtracks as quickly as possible.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, getting to his feet, Robert’s hand falling away in the process. The loss of warmth immediately starts to smart, Aaron already having gotten used to the feel of it.

“Aaron,” Robert starts, but he just cuts him off.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Aaron swallows roughly unable to look at Robert again, his embarrassment turning his stomach. He feels like he might throw up. “Better go home now. Early call time tomorrow.”

With that, Aaron bolts out of the room and then out the front door all without waiting for another word from Robert.

:::::

He doesn’t sleep a wink that night, just replays the moment in his mind.

Each time it gets worse than before, Robert looking at him in shock bordering on disgust, green-blue eyes flashing. (Aaron knows objectively that Robert didn’t actually sneer at him, but emotionally he might as well have.)

This is what happens when you let your feelings get confused, Aaron chides himself, tossing and turning, his sheets all a tangle. This is why you can’t fall for your co-star.

By the time it’s morning he’s tenser than before. But at least he knows what to say to him.

:::::

He goes to Robert’s trailer before he goes to his own, knocking on the door once and then going right in.

Immediately he’s faced with an eyeful of half-naked Robert in snug boxer-briefs, pacing the space and going over his lines by himself.

Aaron loses his voice, his throat going dry. He just stands there in stunned silence. (He has actually seen Robert without a top on a few times before this, courtesy of a few of his movies. But like with all things, real life is proving better. He’d forgotten just how many freckles he has — and how much he used to want to count them.)

Robert notices him ogling him a few seconds later, and he pauses mid-pace. Just stands there frozen, script page in hand.

“Hi,” Aaron says, for lack of anything better. He smiles nervously, both his hands tucked in his coat pockets, watching Robert quietly.

“Hey,” Robert greets back, sounding almost relieved to see him. He doesn’t look like he’s slept either — probably trying to come up with ways with which to let Aaron down gently. Aaron swallows nervously.

At least you don’t have your cock out again, he wants to joke. But now hardly feels like the time for that.

“About yesterday,” Robert begins, taking a step forward, his tone already sounding apologetic.

Aaron takes that as his cue to take over, and so springs into action.

“It was a mistake,” he says matter-of-factly, having practiced this a few times coming in. “I got carried away. Forgot we’re not Felix and Thomas. Don’t worry it won’t happen again.”

Learned my lesson the hard way.

Robert’s brow is furrowing and he doesn’t seem too pleased. Probably because Aaron is issuing a gentle let down for him. He’d figured this was the easiest way to save face: to acknowledge his crime and issue an apology, save Robert the trouble of having to do any heavy lifting.

“Besides,” Aaron says, trying to lighten the mood, even though it’s absolutely twisting him inside. “Wouldn’t want any rumours ruinin’ ya chances, eh Mr. Bond?”

He offers him a smile, but it feels too watery and shallow. He’s barely able to keep his lips turned upward for long.

Robert’s expression doesn’t soften even a bit, just grows more dark and displeasured. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can the trailer door swings open.

“Oh excellent,” Harriet states, coming in with a smile, happy to see both of them. “This should save me some time.”

She must sense the tension in the air, the trailer now thick with the smell of it. Her smile fades and she looks between them, then asks, “Everything alright?”

Aaron chances a glance at Robert and finds him looking almost inscrutable. (Though to be fair, his mind hasn’t moved on from the fact that he’s practically naked.)

“Just fine,” Aaron says, with another thin smile, this one a little easier than that first one.

He’s not sure if she believes him, but she does nod anyway, so he finds that to be heartening.

“There’s been a bit of a change in the shooting schedule, seeing as the weather forecast for today is a bit unexpected,” Harriet tells them, looking from Aaron over to Robert. “So we’re going to try and do today’s scenes tomorrow, and tomorrow’s stuff today. You fine with that?”

Aaron thinks real fast, runs through his memory, trying to figure out what tomorrow brings. He realises it a second later, his stomach sinking quickly, filled with dread about how they’re going to do this.

“Yeah, sure,” Robert replies, sounding quite casual, like what’s about to happen isn’t a big deal to him.

Aaron doesn’t know whether to be hurt or happy, so he just files it as a temporary win. He nods his acceptance when Harriet looks at him questioningly, then follows it up with a, “Should be fine.”

“Perfect! I’ll let the rest of the cast know, and I’ll get makeup in here first thing,” Harriet says, smiling in relief. “Why don’t you two work on any blocking you feel you might need? Especially since all of this is short notice.”

She turns and leaves, the door slamming shut behind her. Leaving nothing but aching silence.

When Aaron finally hazards a glance, he sees that Robert’s staring down at his script page, all focused like if he stares hard enough he can change what just happened.

“So do you want to…” Aaron starts, gesturing between them, unsure what else to say. He kicks himself mentally once again, for ruining any progress in the working relationship between them.

Robert sighs, long and deep, then says, “Suppose we can just figure it out when we both get there.”

He only looks at Aaron when he’s done talking, like he can’t bear to look at him.

Aaron nods his agreement. “Cool. Better get going then. Get into today’s ‘costume.’”

It’s meant to be a joke but Robert doesn’t respond. Just nods back at him pensively.

Aaron desperately wants to ask if everything’s alright between them, but he doesn’t want to make the situation any worse than it seems to be already.

“Yeah, great. See you on set,” Robert finally says, turning away, and walking towards the opposite end of his trailer. A non-verbal dismissal.

Aaron exits, then shuts the door, letting out a sigh as he leans back against it.

It was every bit as awkward as he’d expected — only now it’s been ratcheted up to a million. They’re going to need every single bit of their acting skills if they’re going to sell what’s about to happen. Because Aaron’s not sure how else he and Robert are going to get through the rest of this day, when they’ll both be shooting Thomas and Felix’ first sex scene.

:::::

He stands there, script page in hand and a growing pit in his stomach, as Robert Sugden walks up to him with a grin.

“What you waiting for? Get your kit off.”

The words hit him before the tone does, Robert’s voice sounding teasing but brittle. Aaron’s eyes shoot up towards him, and he sees that the smile on his face is nowhere near his eyes and he’s clearly keeping up pretences.

Right, of course, Aaron tells himself, after getting over the initial surprise of it. We’re all actors here. No point pretending.

It’s silly and it shouldn’t sting as much as it does but Aaron’s still aches at Robert’s reaction. It’s one thing to not be interested in his romantic advances, but it’s another thing to pretend they completely didn’t happen. (He knows it’s hypocritical to feel this way, seeing as he’d actually prayed they could do this last night. But now that he’s living the exact reality he’d hoped for, he knows to be careful what you wish for.)

Still, he smiles right back, feels it hurt to even do so, as he lobs back a response of his own. Both of them standing there in bathrobes.

“Why don’t you get yours off first?”

Robert’s eyes widen, but his smile never falters. Instead, he winks and says, loud enough for anyone standing close by to hear, “Looks like you’ll be getting your wish soon enough.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but his cheeks are still blushing, Robert having hit upon a wish from his youth.

Thankfully, Robert doesn’t see it, Harriet having arrived on the closed, private set, the number of people limited to just her, the two of them, and a small team of production people.

When she gives them a nod, they both strip out of their robes, both of them left standing naked, except for their actors’ modesty socks hiding their cocks and balls. Aaron does his best to keep his gaze level and facing forward, as he goes and finds his mark. The scene involves Felix making love to Thomas, on the floor of the latter’s barn.

The wooden floorboards are tad bit cool and just a little prickly — stray stalks of hay strewn across them — Aaron discovers as his bare back and arse come to rest against them, the sensation causing his skin to stand on end and his back wanting to arch off of it.

Aaron doesn’t have much time to process it, because now Robert’s crawling into his position, slowly lowering himself across Aaron and coming to rest on both his forearms. Aaron keeps his eyes pointed towards the barn ceiling and the rig of artificial lighting, hoping to make things as less awkward as possible.

He can feel Robert’s breath against his cheek, and the heat of him on his arms and chest as they silently hold these poses for the lighting check; Robert is now laying between Aaron’s spread and bent thighs, his arse exposed for everyone to see — not that he seems to care or even looks embarrassed. Instead, Aaron can feel him looking down at him, pinning him to the ground where he’s laying. Still, he refuses to look back at him, his heart furiously beating, as he refuses to make even a hint of eye contact; his last vestige of privacy.

“This isn’t going to work,” Robert says with a sigh after what feels like a day and an age, and Aaron feels his stomach clench, preparing for Robert to clamber off him, already missing him despite no part of them really touching at the moment. “Not if you don’t look at me.”

That gets Aaron’s attention and he looks up into Robert’s eyes, where he finds nothing but calm and watchful understanding.

“What?” He whispers, not meaning to come off so rude, but he’s nervous about what Robert might say and this is a pre-emptive strike — a test to see if he can handle it.

“About yesterday-” Robert begins, and Aaron immediately protests.

“I thought we were done talking about it.”

“No,” Robert insists, voice firm and kind of steely. “You talked about it. I just listened.”

Aaron swallows and lays there, his heart in his ears, as he wishes himself anywhere but here.

But then without warning, Robert dips down and kisses him, a firm press across his lips before a tongue swipes against the bottom one. Aaron grants him eager entry.

Robert pulls back, a half a moment later, remains naked and panting over Aaron.  

“What was that?” Aaron asks, body locked in surprise, though his cock is already having a bit of a reaction. He tries his hardest not to think about it.

“What I wish I’d done last night,” Robert replies, speaking softly, as he shoots Aaron a tentative smile. “What I wish I’d done this morning.”

“You mean…” Aaron trails off, struggling to compute, still feeling like this puzzle is missing a few pieces. Any thoughts about his dick fall by the wayside.

“I like you, Aaron,” Robert says like it’s a well known fact, and not something he just demonstrated with his tongue down Aaron’s throat. “And as you can see, I don’t really care who knows it.”

Aaron glances around and sees that no one’s really paying them much attention, Harriet studying the film monitors in front of her from the director’s seat, the sound guys standing and chatting in the corner.

“Guess that’s a relief,” Aaron finally sighs, when he comes back to look up at Robert’s face. “Seein’ as I like you too.”

It’s like a wave ripples between them because suddenly they’re both touching in millions of tiny ways. Robert’s arms move a little closer, Aaron’s a little wider, both their limbs now settling together. Robert’s planking position lowers, causing him to actually lay across Aaron, their chests just centimetres apart, even as their belly buttons touch, and their cocks, swaddled in their actors’ modesty socks now rest against each other; both steadily hardening. (Aaron smiles as he realises that, flushed with pride that Robert Sugden wants him.)

“So, you going to kiss me back or what?” Robert then asks, smiling down at Aaron, his arms framing either side of his face.

Aaron shakes his head, grinning back cheekily. “Thought we’d save it for the camera.”

:::::

When Harriet yells, “Action,” Robert’s focused and gazing into his eyes. But he doesn’t lunge forward like Aaron expects him to.

Instead, he slowly comes forward, nudges his nose against Aaron’s, before touching their lips together and letting them hover that way for a second, before increasing the pressure, one hand coming to holding the side of Aaron’s face.

Slowly, Aaron’s waiting lips part, as he opens his mouth and lets his tongue curl and slide against Robert’s; allowing him to steal the breath right out of him.

They kiss like that for a couple of minutes, Aaron’s hands sliding up Robert’s back to wrap around the balls of his shoulders, half holding, half gently kneading.

Slowly and gently, Robert starts to rock in place, dragging his thick and hard cock against Aaron’s. He may be simulating sex, but the feelings are all real, as Aaron feels his own shaft throbbing and aching harder.

Robert kisses his way down his jaw, and then his neck and then his chest, Aaron’s back arching unconsciously against him.

Robert comes back up kiss at his lips, the movement of his hips growing faster.

Aaron closes his eyes and pictures his teenage self and all his exploration of sexuality with another boy in his class in the local village pavilion. None of that compares to Felix and Thomas’ first time, none of that compares to this moment with Robert.

Another wave comes over him and he gives himself into it, rolling them over so Robert is now under him; shaggy hair blending with the straw on the wooden floorboards. Aaron takes his lips in his and resumes their kissing.

He continues to grind, increasing the pressure and speed just a little, chasing that spark that shoots through him when their cocks touch through their socks at just the right spot. He can feels his balls tighten and Robert groan into his mouth, the sound of it soaked with wanting. His own cock feels swollen, now more than thick and leaking, the leaking come making the fabric stick to him and his erect shaft more than sensitive.

Aaron can see his climax rising on the horizon, can feel it gathering at the base of his spine, the pressure building to a tall cresting wave, threatening to crash down over him. Under him, Robert continues softly groaning, loose hands scoring up and down Aaron’s back; the movements causing a little thrill of pleasure.

Then just when his orgasm starts to move towards his peak, pushed onward by the friction between their penises, he hears a sound that causes him to stop almost instantly, and Robert to whine under him.

Aaron lays there panting, cock now more than aching, he curses the gods and this particular profession. He brings his forehead to rest against Robert’s. The sweat on both their brows mingling as the chill in the barn begins to set in.

“Alright,” says Harriet from somewhere behind them. Her voice is firm and brooks no questions. So they know better than to protest it. “This was great. But let’s try that again.”

Aaron drops his head into Robert’s neck and groans.

:::::

An hour later he starts to wonder if Harriet is doing this intentionally; guiding them close to the edge with her takes and directions, only to cause them to pull back again, just adding to their rising frustrations.

His only solace is the presence of Robert, who moves from over to under — and even one time, beside — him, as they keep kissing and grinding against each other for the camera; both more sensitive than ever.

“Come back to mine after,” Aaron grunts softly in the middle of one take, too soft for the boom controller to hear him. Robert’s mouth nipping at his shoulder.

“And do what?” Robert whispers, when Aaron rolls them over. It’s clear that he’s a little beyond thinking.

Aaron gets it, biting his tongue as a wave of pleasure sweeps through him.  

“What do you think?” He asks, through gritted teeth, as his hips begin simulating trusting. Then he grins slyly as he looks down into Robert’s unfocused eyes.

“Reckon we could run lines or something.”

:::::

They bolt off set before Harriet can even declare it a wrap — or pull either one aside to talk to them — neither of them able to keep the smile off their faces. Aaron tries not to speed, or run a red light, but it’s a struggle with Robert’s right hand on his thigh, slowly inching higher and higher the entire time.

He manages to still his breathing — and his body’s tetchy reaction — as they exit the vehicle and later enter his building. In fact, they make it all the way up and into his flat, without him making even a single move to try and tear Robert’s clothes off.

“Nice place,” Robert says, as Aaron shuts and locks the door behind. Aaron glances around at the classic film posters on his own living room walls and the lived-in state of his sofa; the prime location for all his movie marathons between projects.

“Thought you might want to see it,” Aaron says coming up to stand in front of him, his hands coming to rest on Robert’s lips.

“You were right about that,” Robert says, though his focus is on him. He smiles and adds, “I’m a big fan of Aaron Dingle.”

Aaron smiles back. There’s a flutter in his chest, like a flock of birds flying back after winter. He swallows roughly and gives his answer, his voice coming out rougher as his gaze drops to Rober’s lips, “I’m right about a lot of things. Guess you’re going to have to remind me.”

That’s all it takes because Robert’s lips are on his, with all the urgency of a man drowning.

Aaron grabs at his jacket and starts pushing it off him, as he also walks him to the bedroom.

They stumble a little, the room still a mess from this morning, Robert grabbing Aaron’s biceps so as to not trip backwards over a pair of kicked trainers lying in the middle of the floor.

“You know, a little tidying never hurt anyone,” Robert says coming back in for a kiss.

“Do you want to talk cleaning, or do you want to fuck?” Aaron growls back, still very frustrated from this morning.

Robert stripping him of his hoodie is his answer.

Grinning into the kiss, Aaron tugs Robert’s shirt up and out of his jeans and then makes quick work of the buttons up front — not caring if he loses one. He pushes it off him, and trails kisses down his neck, before pausing to nip once at his collarbone.

Robert inhales sharply, pressing closer into him. So Aaron does it again, just a little bit harder, earning him a groaned, Aaron.

Smiling again, he licks the same area once, then kisses it as if to make it better. Then he turns his attention to Robert’s jeans, his dick already bulging in the front of it.

Robert’s hands are once again moving, pushing Aaron’s own jeans down to pool against his feet. He tries to step out of them, while undoing Robert’s belt buckle, only to feel one of Robert cup his cock through the fabric of his boxers, the pressure firm but gentle.

Aaron lets out a gasp as Robert just chuckles, “Well, hello there Mr. Dingle.”

“Do you ever shut up?” Aaron asks, as he tried to focus on the jeans button in front of him, Robert’s cock already straining against his zipper, as his hand slips from outside Aaron’s boxers into them, drawing out a shuddered gasp as he squeezes his erection.

“Make me,” Robert says with a smug little grin, the words a low purr that goes straight to Aaron’s eardrum.

Aaron takes him up on his offer, kissing him thoroughly, before pushing him back against his mattress.

A thrill runs up his back as he sees a mostly naked Robert Sugden, resting on his elbows and across the unmade purple sheets of his bed. He kneels down at the base of his bed, then reaches up and pulls the hem of Robert’s underwear down. His cock springs out, already wet and leaking, and every bit as long and thick as Aaron had expected.

He runs a hand up it, giving it a test of a stroke, in front of him Robert twitches.

Pleased with the response, Aaron leans forward and hovers over it, feeling Robert’s eyes watching carefully. Then he smiles up at him, before dropping his head down as he sets up about fulfilling a fantasy.

On either side of his head, Robert’s thighs jerking and flexing — just like that first day in the trailer. Only this time it’s Aaron with his mouth on his cock, him being the one to draw the groans out of Robert.

Down between his own legs, his cock is once again aching, having been denied release too many times in one day. Aaron wraps a hand around it, smearing his own pre-come over his head and down around it, his thumb flicking the edge of his frenulum and causing a thrill of excitement. He keeps on steadily stroking.

When he feels Robert nearing the edge — now more than well-versed in his body — Aaron pulls off and hears the expected moan of disappointment. He gives him a kiss as he reaches for the lube, eager to avoid a painful experience.

He slides two fingers in, gently twisting and scissoring, Robert groaning and pushing down into it.

When he feels he’s ready, Aaron slides his now slick dick into Robert and gets a satisfied sigh for his efforts.

He waits a second for Robert to adjust to the discomfort, but all he gets is grunted, “Hurry up and fuck me.”

Doing as he says, Aaron sets up a punishing pace, the front of his thighs smacking against the back of Robert’s in a satisfying rhythm.

It’s not too long before he feels his climax once again approaching, having been at the edge of his fingertips all day. Below him, Robert’s busy stroking himself as he keeps on moaning Aaron’s name, punctuated by a gasp every time Aaron hits that special spot.

His neck is tipped back and his eyes are tight shut, his hand is rapidly pumping, Robert lost to the build of his own orgasm.

With his own edge within sight, Aaron makes a quick decision, he leans down, hips still rolling as he positions himself right beside Robert’s ear, and then whispers, “It was you I liked, not Pete Barton.”

He hears Robert’s strangled cry and his come hit his chest. It’s enough to make him come inside him.

:::::

He wakes up a few hours later to Robert on his phone, just laying next to him naked. The white light from the small iPhone screen illuminates the side profile of his face in a strong but gentle white glow; his features looking like he was sculpted from marble.

There’s a fondness in his eyes and a glow in his cheeks as he lays on his back, biting his bottom lip, staring at the screen intently, probably skimming the news on a gossip news site. (Aaron actually reads a few of them himself, a couple proving quite reliable in terms of casting news and breakdowns.)

“Anything good?” He asks, when he’s drunk his fill — though he’s finding that his thirst for Robert might be bottomless.

Robert doesn’t startle or even really flinch, just looks over at him like he was gently awakened. His smile is radiant — but more so in this light, white teeth flashing in the phone light, which also renders his freckles a little paler.

“Nothing as good as what’s right here,” Robert says, affection coming through loud and clear. He then lifts his right arm above his head, an open invitation.

Aaron accepts it, shuffling in closer, and bringing the covers with him. He snuggles in closer until his head is resting on the ball of Robert’s shoulder as he turns himself sideways on his left side. Robert’s arm comes back down, wrapping around his back and resting on the curve of his arse.

When Aaron turns towards the phone screen he sees instead that it’s a book, Robert’s attention instead captured by some kind of video.

It takes him a second to clock what’s happening on screen, because then he gasps in disbelief.

“Are you watching my episode of Black Mirror?” He shifts to gaze up at him, searching Robert’s face for any detail of an answer.

“Why?” He asks, horrified.

Robert turns from the phone to look down at him, and then says without any embarrassment or shame. “The first time I ever saw this, I knew I had to meet you.”

“You’re joking me,” Aaron barks a laugh. “My character was mental.”

“Yeah,” Robert agrees, his index finger now rubbing a lazy circle into Aaron’s hip, the feel and motion of it deeply soothing. “But you played him with such intensity.”

“Probably just thought I was fit, or something,” Aaron protests, rolling his eyes at Robert. “I spent half the episode naked.”

“Well, obviously there was that,” Robert concedes, but even with his playful tone, Aaron can tell he still means it. That he’d actually been attracted to Aaron’s acting.

“Does this mean you fantasized about me?” Aaron asks cheekily, even though he’s nervous about the answer.

“If I didn’t, I’d be mental,” Robert says with all the confidence in the world, like this is an undisputed fact.

He’d wanted to hear it, but it still makes him blush. Aaron rolls inward towards Robert’s shoulder. Robert’s hand and finger don’t stop their circling.

“Shut up,” he chides him gently.

“It’s true though,” Robert admits, voice quiet in the night, his face growing ever more thoughtful. “It’s why I wanted to do this project. Figure at least this way I’d get a chance to work with you.”

“More like, hoped you’d get a chance to shag me,” Aaron retorts, but there’s nothing in his voice but affectionate lightness.

“Not going to lie and say I didn’t dream about that,” Robert chuckles. “Though I did really hope you might be bisexual as well.”

“Worked out in the end, I suppose,” Aaron says quietly.

Robert hums his agreement. On his phone screen a younger version of Aaron fights against a male co-star.

Time passes, a few more moments go by, then Aaron says, trying not to keep the worry from creeping into his voice too much, “You know, if people find out about us, we might have to come out publicly.”

He doesn’t want to say it, but he feels like he has to, not wanting to cost Robert his career. “You could lose the Bond role.”

“I told you, Aaron, I don’t care who finds out.” It doesn’t sound flippant, and it doesn’t sound thrown away. It sounds sure as can be and confident. “Didn’t exactly take this job to prove I could do my own stunts. Though I think we both did well on that front.”

Robert pinches his hip as if to underscore the point, sending a spark of shock right through him. Aaron startles and arches his back closer, his bare chest now snug into Robert’s side.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Aaron grumbles poking his chest. Under his left ear, Robert shakes with quiet laughter.

“Yes, but an idiot you like,” Robert says when he can finally answer. “And an idiot you had a crush on.”

Aaron rubs his hip sorely. “I can still kick you out of bed, you know.”

“You wouldn’t do that to a poor, defenceless, idiot,” Robert offers in his defence. Aaron just rolls his eyes at it.

“Do you seriously ever shut up?” He questions, not really annoyed.

Robert’s voice is low when he replies, “Like I said. Go ahead and make me.”

Aaron comes up for a kiss.

:::::

They do come out eventually, when doing the rounds to promote the movie, and all their fears are brushed aside as it makes their stock rise even higher. Suddenly they have interviews scheduled with all the top publications, with joint profiles in both The Guardian and Variety. (Aaron asks his mum to go buy extras of both, his idea to have them framed as an eventual moving-in present.)

The movie’s a success as it starts to do the circuit, opening first in limited release and then going wider and wider. It garners great reviews, most of it focusing on Aaron and Robert’s performance, with plenty of mentions of their chemistry. (Robert particularly likes reading those aloud in bed, pulling them up on his phone not long after Aaron awakens.)

Amongst all the furor and the immense fan support, the good news start to trickle in. George Miller wants to meet Aaron to discuss a possible part in Mad Max, while Robert has a meeting about playing Bond after all. As it turns out, times are very definitely changing, and the minds in charge of the franchise have decided they’d quite like to adapt along with it. Neither of them expect anything to actually come of it. But they still joke about Robert wearing that suit and celebrate.  

A few months after that, Harriet calls waking them both up, the film — as well as both their performances and her direction — having been nominated for an Oscar. They lay there together, Robert’s phone on speaker on Aaron’s bare chest, his cheek close beside it, neither of them daring to breathe in their shocked silence.

Aaron cracks first, a long and loud laugh, seconds later Robert starts to join him.

“Can you believe it?” Robert asks, lifting his head. The diffused sunlight from the hotel room balcony window backlights him, showing off his bedhead in all its glory.

“Sure I can,” Aaron shrugs easily, taking in the high cheekbones and the freckles dotting them, the unexpected pinkness of Robert’s lips. Then he looks into Robert’s eager eyes, letting the now-alert green and blue wash over him. “Harriet Finch, innit?”

“But you and me, nominated for an Oscar…” Robert quietly marvels. “Do you think we could win?”

Aaron just watches him, memorising this face, already planning their celebration. He brings a hand up, and cups Robert’s cheek, stroking a thumb across a warm cheekbone. Then he leans up, gives him a soft kiss, then lies back, his head hitting the pillow.

Robert’s eyes open slowly, and his smile grows softer; a small one that he reserves for Aaron.

“Reckon we could,” Aaron says, feeling himself return it. “Who doesn’t love a good love story?”

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 4X08 - Smash the Mirror

Am I reviewing two episodes at once, or is this just a MIRROR-age?!:?! XD

...Told you I was funny. 

Okay, I’ve said it before, but the best thing about this rewatch are the little surprises you find along the way while watching. This is one of them and I had a LOT to say about just how good it really was. So, if you want to join me under the cut, maybe we’ll have some fun!

Main Takeaways

Past

I love how this episode holds to the spirit of “Frozen” in that Anna and Elsa’s love is more powerful than Ingrid’s manipulation. I think it was a great writing decision that allowed for the actual story of the episode to go in a much cooler (pardon the pun) story with a much more tragic twist to take place as a result. Additionally, the reveal scene of this story twist is such a fantastic moment! It’s beautifully orchestrated for the intense mood the scene starts out with. And the acting as Elsa plays the guards is just so real and hysterical in hindsight! Even still, once the ruse was revealed, I was grinning like a fool.

Really, Anna and Elsa are the heart of this segment (Favorite Dynamic was next to IMPOSSIBLE for this two-parter). Literally EVERY scene that they share bathes us is their love for one another. In every scene of this flashback, these two were either holding each other close, goofing off, throwing bits of wit at each other, or some combination of the three. We see their post-”Frozen” sisterhood and because “Frozen” ended just as they reconciled, that’s something we didn’t get to see a lot of at the time of this episode’s airing. But here, their dynamic is celebrated and given a giant fireworks display!

And I LOVE how this extends to the tragic ending of the story. Elsa, faced with so much anger and resentment from Anna and Ingrid egging her on, fucking REFUSES to betray her sister. Even as this is an ultimate loss, it is still a triumph! And that’s because Ingrid basically had to cheat to win. It took what basically amounted to Deus Ex Machina’s next door neighbor to split these two up and that’s just too beautiful!

Present

There’s a real solid heart to this episode that for me, was somewhat lacking in the past few episode, either due to a lack of focus or just a lack of understanding of what was needed to do with their characters for the stories they wanted to tell.

Now, I’m going to talk about what I found to be the two biggest aspects of this segment, but first, I want to take some time to address some of the smaller bits.

First off, a relatively minor moment, but something that was important to me was Snow’s call in Part 1. I really appreciate that not only was Snow the one to answer the phone, but she wasted NO time apologizing to Emma for her behavior in the last episode. That was so necessary and upon seeing this episode again, it really restored a lot of my love for Snow. And the way Snow insists that this apology matters when Emma says it doesn’t was incredibly heartwarming! AND the way that this attitude prevails throughout the episode is even better!

Second, also from Part 1 is the conversation Snow and David have in their bedroom about whether or not Emma should give up her magic. It’s a scene like this that makes me happy that this episode was done in two parts. It’s allowed to be a slow, semi-detailed, character filled conversation. David and Snow can be fleshed out in regards to their thought processes. Snow is so full of regret and really wants to learn from the mistake she made in the last episode. For her, taking the opposite approach to Emma’s magic is that (And rightly). And David cares about Emma’s autonomy, showing support for her choice. Both approaches are done out of love, well meaning, and supportive, and while Emma doesn’t give up her magic, the validity and love from her parents on display in this scene. And I also love how Elsa becomes a third party in this scene. Elsa knows as someone who has powers that they can be something that makes someone special and more importantly can be controlled. She doesn’t want Emma to give up her magic because she knows that this is just as much an act of self-loathing as much as it is a means of protection for those she loves. And that determines her to, upon hearing the conclusion Snow and David reach, take fate into her own hands.

Third, ALSO from Part 1 (And sort of Part 2), while I hated “The Apprentice,” I LOVE the resolution to it. Killian’s voicemail apologizing to Emma is something that’s so amazing to me. Killian holds nothing back as he exposes how he knows what Rumple’s capable of thanks to that hat. His remorse and regret is so strong and sincere and it shows how despite Rumple’s claims, he really does want to be and is becoming a better man. And as further evidence, Killian tries to actually morally persuade Rumple not to hurt Emma. He’s not just spewing threats at him, but is actually starting to use his heart to convince even his greatest enemy not to hurt someone. As for the rest of this scene, I’ll see you shortly to talk about that. ;)

Fourth, now onto Part 2, I want to do something different and combine two scenes: Regina and Henry’s talk upstairs and Regina’s subsequent takedown of Snow and David. I find that these two scenes are deeply connected and while talking about them apart would be great, talking about them together might be better! Regina’s words about denying Henry his specialness is made so much better because of the Regal Believer scene it soon follows. You see how Regina has come to not only respect that specialness of Henry’s, but to adore it and regret shunning it before. This is some fantastic evidence of all of Regina’s growth and fills in an important piece of the Regal Believer puzzle. You see her criticize that past action and Lana sells that calm regret that Regina has so well! And then Regina passes the advice along to Snow and David. This might be one of my favorite instances of Regina reflecting her teachings onto another because the specific circumstances of the situation she’s relating are a lot more domestic in their origins and yet equal in a sense between the points of comparison. I’ll illuminate my point a bit better in the next spot, but it’s important when making comparisons for common ground between two characters to be common in both substance and impact and the impact of Emma giving up her magic is painted with an urgency that brings that and Regina’s behavior towards Henry in Season 1 to a point where that commonness is felt.

Fifth, we gotta talk about Snow and Regina’s talk on the road. First, I wish Regina’s line about whether or not doing good things in order to be redeemed truly has the value of doing good been expanded on more. It was the most interesting thing to come out of Snow and Regina’s conversation and just like the conversations and scenes I gushed about above, I think it had the potential to be just as good a diving more into Regina’s redemption arc. Second, ”You know how selfish and shallow I could be as a child.” ...I hate this line. Being a pain in the ass child is not in the same legion as Regina’s crimes and in a conversation that has so much more potential for depth, I hate that this was the narrative point they decided to go for. Hell, why didn’t Snow instead vaguely allude to what went down with Maleficent? We’d have gotten better foreshadowing and an example of evil from Snow that would serve to put them more on the same level, making the conversation so much stronger. BUT that all having been said, I really like how the conversation ends. It’s not that deep, but it does touch upon the point that while change isn’t happening as fast as Regina wants it to, her choice to make good decisions rather than poor ones is how she’ll change her life for the better.

Finally, sixth, the heart stealing. You KNEW I was gonna talk about this and YES! Let’s do it!!! In many ways, the start of this scene feels very much like an ending. Killian’s celebrating Emma’s safety and looking to free himself while Rumple mourning his loss. BUT I love the sharp turn this scene takes as Rumple slowly reveals what’s next to come, namely for Killian. @lillpon did an AMAZING analysis of this scene that I can’t find, but does SUCH justice to the slow and methodical way Killian’s realization and subsequent horror plays out. Seeing Killian wiggle around terrified, panicked, and desperate is a horrifying experience to watch, but not a narratively poor one at all. It’s the real star of the Golden Hook arc of Season 4 for me and the best chunk of narrative that they get throughout the series (I’ll have some explaining to do in season 7, won’t I? Not saying it’s bad, but not as good as what we see now). There’s such menace in Rumple’s voice with every line spoken and unlike in “The Apprentice,” the promise of this scene is completely delivered on and that’s why I love it. We see the torture Rumple inflicts on Killian’s body and morals over the course of the next few episodes and it hurts because we see how Killian tried to change his ways. But it doesn’t matter. Because he’s Rumple’s puppet now.

Okay, now onto the big points about this segment, namely, our two real mains: Rumple and Emma.

Rumple is amazing in this episode. His villainy blossoms in such a spectacular way that it’s really something to behold! First off, let’s start with his introduction. I LOVE the reveal of Emma’s presence in Rumple’s shop. While it’s a slow moment and honestly probably could’ve been cut from the episode, it’s nonetheless a COOL moment. I love how all of Rumple’s baubles slowly go off one by one as we build to the reveal that not only is Emma in the shop, but that Rumple’s not at all surprised nor freaked out by it. He knows what Emma’s up to and he uses his knowledge of Ingrid’s scheme as well as the story that Emma tells him about Henry to his full advantage. Rumple presses just the right buttons as to maximize Emma’s fear and get her to agree to whatever it is that she needs to in order to protect those that she loves. His most every move is sinister, whether he’s gloating at Ingrid, manipulating Emma, or torturing Killian. Scary Rumple is honestly my favorite Rumple we get this in droves. When Rumple CAN reveal his plans or intentions, he becomes terrifying and Robert Carlyle sells every terrifying chuckle, word, and sneer and when he needs to play it cool for Emma, the shift to acting like someone not entirely unselfish but not entirely selfish either gives this story a perfect pinch of dramatic irony.

It’s sickening, but in the absolute best way. Rumple’s the Iago of this story and while not entirely bereft of nuance, the narrative makes no qualms about that fact.

There’s this great moment in the mansion where for all that Rumple’s manipulating Emma, he’s also being so honest with her about who he is. Perhaps it’s because he believes she’s gonna die soon or just because of the dynamic they’ve had so far, but Rumple is refreshingly honest and praising of Emma and how she’s different from him. And it’s a risk on his part. It’s possible his words might convince Emma to be selfish or that Ingrid’s words might still play a part in her decision over what to do or that Emma might just ask too many questions, but he’s confident she won’t and he has this self loathing that for better or worse, does need to come out to someone inconsequential. And he chooses Emma. That “thank you” that she gives him guts me, as does his response. It’s a scary scene that is also full of soul.

And Emma...just Emma. For all the talk of Emma running away, I feel like this is just as much about Emma not wanting to run and doing what she can to not have to. She keeps her family posted about what’s going on with her, regularly expresses her love to them, and makes a decision about her magic so she can go back to them. Her love for her friends and family is made so evident by Emma’s every move and Jen’s acting here is fantastic in showing that balance of love and fear, giving an extra layer of nuance to the character.

Finally, let’s talk about Emma and Elsa’s talk. The speech is so well nurtured by who these two characters are. Their understandings of fear, rejection, powerlessness, and sense of being overpowered by themselves are big parts of common ground between them, making Elsa the absolute best person to relate to Emma’s troubles. Additionally, the conversation discusses self love in this fantastic and tangible way. When it comes to themes, this is the most an episode can give me. Elsa points out the personal responsibility in loving and accepting yourself. Loving both the good and bad parts of one’s powers and destiny is a hard thing in the universe of OUAT, especially when those things can risk causing real harm. But it’s something that can be done and for yourself and all those that love you, must be done. This scene emphasizes this and Elsa and Emma’s bond raises everything to new heights.

That woosh of acceptance and control that results of this conversations is BEYOND earned. It feels like another hurdle that Emma’s overcome and her pain throughout the episode makes it such a strong accomplishment. Emma and Elsa are True Friendship and True Love!

All Encompassing

This is such a dynamic episode in terms of aesthetics, too! We see cool effects like the mirror lakes reappear, and great bits of editing and cinematography that enhance the writing by showing things like distance and loneliness through camera and even prop angles. And the cuts and usages of lighting, particularly as they pertain to Emma’s rampant magic are really exciting! They leave a constant tension and sense of danger across the span of the episode and really bring the entire experience of watching this two-parter to life.

Stream of Consciousness

-It’s always a sign of a fun time when you have a motherfucking mirror lake of editing goodness!!!! Hell yeah!

-Ingrid, when you need someone’s help and you can’t threaten them, it doesn’t do you well to insult them by calling them “past your prime.”

-”Especially those that have succumbed to the darkness…” Ingrid hasn’t really done anything like that. Killing Helga was an accident, defeating Hans’ guards was self-defense, and while imprisoning Anna was dark...I mean, have you MET the people in this universe?! XD

-”Do you think I was foolish enough to bring it with me?” RUMPLE, TAKE NOTES!!!

-”My sisters could never accept who I was because they were...ordinary.” Helga accepted you and Gerda did too until she falsely thought you murdered her sister!

-Damn, Sean rocks that tank top! <3 Like, I want him in that tank top in a remake of “Die Hard.”

-”Hey, this isn’t your fault.” Well, it’s more her fault than it is yours.

-Now I just want to know just what that spell Rumple threw out actually WAS!

-”I will never take this off again.” I teared up at this fucking line. Anna loves Elsa so much and I’m LIVING for it!

-”You may want to finish buttoning your shirt first.” This moment had me laughing HARD!

-THE MIRROR LAKE SHOWS UPPPPPP!

-Speaking of mirrors, I ADORE the shot of Elsa and Anna looking into the shattered sight mirror for the first time. They’re in the same shot, but because of the way the mirror is shattered, there’s this sense of distance created and it’s reflected in the main shot of the two sisters too. The editing team did a GREAT job here!

-”Unless...you simply like watching me.” Did Ingrid just make a pass at Rumple?! XD

-I love how Anna and Elsa, while being sneaky, are just having the BEST time on this mission and Elsa can’t even fully hide her amusement at Anna’s quip.

-Opening hours until 10? “Very generous” indeed!

-I really love the Regal Believer scene we see! Regina’s speech to Henry about his usefulness and contributions is really heartwarming and connects with Henry in a loving and intelligent way!

-Going back to my point about Ingrid and Rumple, the Netflix still for Part 2 is Ingrid and Rumple getting all up in each other’s business!!! XD I feel like other people need to start shipping this!! Golden Frost?

-Ingrid’s “surprise” was so adorable!!!

-When we see Rumple walk to meet Emma in the mansion, it looks like he’s in a freakin’ church! XD

-I’m HC’ing that Rumple turned on all of those lights as to spook Emma even further.

-I know it’s more of a matter of convenience, but why didn’t Rumple just go for the fairies’ first? Like, he says basically that Emma’s not his first choice to die for the hat, and he HATES the fairies, so why not?

-Elsa offering Anna all the chocolate she can eat is the most beautiful thing in the world!

-”Eventually, everyone sees me as a monster.” YOU LITERALLY JUST FORCED ANNA TO TRAP HER SISTER AND KRISTOFF SAID HE WOULDN’T HURT YOU IF YOU LET HER GO! FUCK THAT NOISE!

-I like that Ingrid apparently spent hours playing what basically amounts to Patty Cake with the magical barrier, all the while probably never sitting while standing in heels! XD

Favorite Dynamic

Swan Believer. While there were SO MANY good dynamics in this episode and Emma and Elsa’s dynamic especially is a really great moment of understanding for Emma’s character and a great heart to the episode, I feel like that moment is only as great as it is because of how well it was set up by Emma and Henry’s opening scene. I love that they chose Henry as the person to find Emma and be injured under her powers. It’s not only an organic and really heartbreaking scene as Emma freaks out about how she hurt Henry, but it really does make Emma’s mood throughout the rest of the two-parter make so much sense. It’s a hard scene to watch, but I mean that in the best way possible. Emma is doing everything she can to explain how she can’t be with Henry at the moment and Henry, the believer, of course, will not bend down so easily. The scene, like Emma’s rampant magic, is pulsing with love and danger. And the moment where Henry finds blood on himself is so crushing because it erases any hope that even Emma’s biggest source of support can turn her around right now. And this moment between them creates a tragic and urgent tone that follows the present segment of the episode throughout its run. Emma’s desperation and panic all comes from that moment between the two of them. I only wish that their reunion was a liiiiiiiiittle stronger, but I do find it forgivable. Given how happy Emma and Henry are and their hug, it works well enough.

Writer

David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz are a fucking dream team here! The name of the game in this episode is strength. These two took advantage of every second they had in this double episode to give each of their dynamics the strength they needed to support the story. The stories in both the past and present are actually so simple in their broad strokes -- Emma tries to give up her magic and Anna and Elsa work together to stop Ingrid -- but the simplicity of the narrative allows for much deeper conversations to take place. And they’re all given the time to reach that organic conclusion and as a result, I love each and every one of them.

Rating

DOUBLE GOLDEN APPLE!!! WHAT AN AMAZING EPISODE! I’m not gonna lie. I GROANED at the thought of covering this double episode because of its length, but this episode kept my attention and love practically the ENTIRE time! We get two fantastic stories that really involved their present casts, superb conversations across the span of the episode. I was floored by just how much I ended up liking this one, but it really touched me in just the right way!

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Captain Swan - I love the two second shot of Killian when David says that they need to pour the locator spell over something of Emma’s! XD Yup that’s accurate! Golden Hook - Rumple chains Killian up and literally takes his heart. Jenna’s very happy now and that’s really all I need to say about that! XD

Golden Frost (Ingrid/Rumple) - When I woke up today, I didn’t expect to end my day shipping Rumple and Ingrid, but it fucking happened and I love it! Seriously, Ingrid and Rumple all but dry hump in this episode. They constantly get all up in each other’s businesses and the threats don’t take me out of that as much as you’d think!!! XD

Outlaw Queen - I love the bit of banter Robin and Regina have at the library where Regina points out that Robin stole Henry’s book from her and Robin says “you knew I was a thief when you met me.” I know it’s such a small thing to point out, but I LOVE that bit of wit exchanged! It’s cute, flirty, and fast!

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The best part of doing these reviews is finding episodes like these. They’re episodes that I don’t remember that well apart from a few scene and expect to not find all that much apart from said scenes, but end up doing so much for me emotionally. This, while an exhausting review to write for its meatiness, was so worth every exhausting second of it.

Thank you SO much for reading this if you did! This review was a pleasure to write! And thank you to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales and @daensarah for being the coolest human in existence! (And hey, if you want to be on the tag list for these reviews, hit me up!) Anyway, I can’t wait to see you all during “Fall.” TTFN!

Season 4 Total (69/230) Tee-hee! XD

Writer Scores: Adam and Eddy: (16/60) Jane Espenson: (10/40) David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz: (30/50) Andrew Chambliss: (14/50) Dana Horgan: (6/30) Kalinda Vazquez: (14/40) Scott Nimerfro: (6/30)

*Links to the rest of my rewatch will no longer be provided. They take posts with links outside of searches and I spend way too much time on these reviews to not give them that kind of exposure. Sorry for the inconvenience, but they still can be found on my page under Operation Rewatch.

[amndntchpr]

Unpopular opinion (the 100 edition) : on why we shouldn’t hate S3 Bellamy this much.

Clickbait title ? Maybe. Most titles are after all. But honestly though, in the days coming to the S5 premiere I’ve been rewatching every episode, once a day, and I’m now towards the end of season 3. 

Having already seen the series at least once, knowing what happens in S3 and later in S4, I wanted to give a very special attention to Bellamy’s character, because I remember how hated he was for everything he did in S3, and I know I hated him too. Now, I’m not pretending to be a psychiatrist, or a TV show critic. This is just my own opinion, on why Bellamy did what he did. 

First, we have to go back to the season 2 finale. Last episode, we all remember that Clarke was left with no other choice to save her people than pulling that lever and irradiating every single person in Mt Weather (yes Jasper, maybe you could’ve killed the president, but there were no guarantee that you could do it or that it would change anything...). Anyway, we tend to vividly remember Clarke pulling that lever, because she had the idea first, and because she then chose to leave camp for months. And as heartbreaking as it must’ve been for Clarke, we shouldn't forget that there was a hand above Clarke’s on that lever. Bellamy’s. Together. Yes, it’s sweet, it means he supports her etc etc, it’s been a great fuel for Bellarke shippers ever since (which I am). But more than that, it meant that he took on a part of this burden, and that they shared the responsibility and the guilt, together. That they could face the consequences, if they stick together in what was next. And in that sense, Clarke leaving camp at the end of season 2 felt like a first treason for Bellamy. But he let her go and didn’t blame her, because he understood she needed time alone. And after that moment, it’s like Bellamy came up with a sort of mantra ‘I will not let anyone else I care about die if I have the means to save them’. Remember that, because this will become of increasing importance in the season to come.

Back to season 3. The season starts with 2 episodes where Bellamy is more than willing (I’d say pretty desperate) to find Clarke, and her running for her life. He finally finds her, and the hard past few months seem to be past them. But they are separated, Bellamy is hurt and has to return to camp, and Clarke is taken by Roan to Lexa in Polis. 

Now, this in itself was a setback and felt like a failure for Bellamy. He promised himself that he would protect his people, and failing Clarke, who was perhaps the most important of his people (for him and for the rest of Skaikru) was hard. But he went back to camp, to heal. Remember that in ep 3, when they arrived to Mt Weather and he saw Pike and all of Farm station comfortably settled, he wasn’t happy about it. Same episode, this is where it all goes to shit. He receives word of a threat for Echo, leaves Gina at Mt Weather and speeds to Polis to once again save Clarke, Kane, Abby, everyone at the summit. But of course, it was a set up, and he was betrayed. That hurt. Seconds later, he finds out that everyone but Raven & Sinclair, including his girlfriend (given we didn’t really have time to care about her, but she must’ve meant a lot to him) had been blown up at Mt Weather. And from here on : rage, guilt, despair, all over again. He couldn't save his people. And then, when he asks Clarke to come back to her people, the only think that could help him, and everyone at camp, she refuses and choses to stay with Lexa. Now, I love Clarke, I think she’s a great leader who does and takes on a lot to save her people. She probably thought that staying behind in Polis was what was best for her people, but I personally think that’s one of the biggest mistake she ever made. Had she gone back to Arkadia, I think that A. Pike would’ve never been elected chancellor, and B. Bellamy wouldn’t have joined the dark side. But that’s just speculation. For him, it was more than jealousy or that he missed Clarke, it was that when he needed her the most, but the whole camp needed her to come back, she refused, and that hurt him. 

So from that point on, it was bad decision after bad decision. And I’m not trying to fully excuse what he did, because massacring an army of 300 ppl, all the more when they were sent to protect you, is never okay. But I will try to maybe explain why he made these choices, which can be considered quite out of character, reason why it shocked us all. If you look closely at every scene of Bellamy in these 5 episodes or so (yes, only 5 episodes where he was a dick ! Not the whole season !), like I did, you will see that everything he does, more than acting in revenge or spite, he does because he genuinely thinks it’ll save some people. He’s wrong, obviously, but we are omniscient viewers while he’s just a heart-broken skaikru member, who has already been betrayed by Lexa and hasn’t forgotten it ! And on that note enters that royal SOB, Pike. Let’s face it, the dude was sketchy from the start. Okay, he and the farm station had  pretty bad first encounter with the grounders when they first landed, but for a teacher, he was surprisingly stubborn and incapable of learning and broadening his horizons... That’s one thing we can all agree on, Pike was an asshole. 

And after that, it’s like Pike poisoned everyone of Bellamy’s thoughts, giving him a false sense that he would protect their people in a way that Abby and Kane wouldn’t be able to. That he was willing to do what was necessary to keep safe. And I might be repeating myself here, but that’s all Bellamy has ever wanted. Even while under the influence of Pike, he’s often the only one that we see contesting (often before yielding though) Pike’s ideas when he deems them too harsh or violent. But Pike always had the right word to reassure him, and convince that his way was the best. Bellamy wanted to spare the wounded on the battlefield, he convinced Pike to spare Indra, he argued when they wanted to wipe out that grounders village to make some plantations. Not saying that excuses all the rest, but Bellamy was never truly gone or just brainwashed, he was aware of every decision he made, but made them anyway because he thought it best.

And maybe that’s just Bob’s acting abilities, but watching closely all of these scenes, you could see that he wasn't happy about the decisions he made. But it’s that role of protector, first with his sister, then the 100 that he shared with Clarke, that all of his people, that lead him to a dark path. With Clarke gone, and having to assume this role on his own, the measures he took had to be extreme. No time to grieve, a whole lot of people that he couldn’t let die, and a manipulative, backstabbing mother-f****r that what whispering in his ear. That’s all it took. It’s a shame, it really is, but it came from good intentions (and pain).

Fortunately, he (along with Monty, who I feel was somehow instantly forgiven even though A. he armed the system that killed everyone in Mt Weather and B. he also worked for Pike ?) came back to his senses when Pike ordered the execution of Kane. It was then he realized he’d taken things too far. Kane has been nothing less than extraordinary the whole of season 3, and I so wish he could’ve come through with Bellamy earlier. These two have a special relationship, almost paternal, based on advice and respect (mostly), and it was something Bellamy just couldn’t let happen. Because he cared for Kane, but also because it was against the one thing he was trying to achieve : keeping everyone safe. After that, we all know how it went, he tried to act to save Kane, Sinclair, and Lincoln, couldn’t save Lincoln, was blamed for his death (understandably) and felt mostly guilty and terrible for the rest of season 3. 

He had lost his sister, lost the respect of many people including possibly Kane and most people of Arkadia, lost himself. He had tried to take matters into his own hands, and had failed, by trusting the wrong person, and in doing so influencing a lot of people to trust Pike. I do believe that, were it not for Clarke showing him that she personally forgave him and still trusted him, he would’ve been lost. A bit late for the Clarke wise speech perhaps, but it shows that her opinion is invaluable to him, and that he’s not inherently bad, just lost. Anyways, I think we saw in season 4 that he’s still a good guy, and I’m glad that I got to rewatch these episodes, it showed me than there was more to his story and it showed me a new depth of the character. 

[blueangelwclouds]

Married at first sight thoughts again and other random thoughts.

*Spoiler further down*

I haven't given many spoilers yet but since I'm doing a review blog I probably will/should give spoilers and information about the show. If you think another website/app is better for my blog let me know because so far tumbler looks more like pictures and memes and I may post a pic here and there but this is mostly a regular blog.

I have watched other shows in-between the break I took from Married at first sight and I was going to write about those but didn't get a chance or couldn't bring myself to make the time. As I've mentioned in the past I don't get to use Hulu that much which features more seasons of Married at first sight. I have slowly been watching season 4. When I say slowly I mean slowly for me because since we have had Netflix I usually just love to binge watch all my shows. I am 34 and I remember what TV and life was like before the internet. Living in the 90's I would make sure to be home at a certain time not to miss my shows/favorite shows. I didn't have cable till high school when I moved with my mom and her boyfriend and cable/satellite TV is way different because you can save shows to watch later and other different possibilities. So having Netflix or other streaming services makes it possible to watch shows any time without the worry of time. Although usually I get into a show so much that I can't turn it off and that's why I binge watch them to where I can watch a short show in one weekend.

Anyways I got off track. I watched another episode of Married at First sight in the middle of the night because I stayed up on my phone and then my stomach hurt so I got some cereal. I forgot to mention in my previous posts that on season 4 Lillian's voice sounds like/reminds me of PHOEBE TONKIN!! Tell me what you think if you agree or disagree? When I first heard it I couldn't put my finger on it to be honest and had to think about it but that's definitely the voice. They are from different countries so it doesn't make sense. Phoebe is from Australia and Lillian is originally from Nicaragua.

Spoiler*

Also let me think thoughts about the episode umm? I watched episode 14 decision day. Honestly I thought Sonia and Nick were going to say divorce especially based on what they said before they gave there answer.

Spoiler*

Spoiler*

I love to know I just can't wait so I have already looked things up online as to whether they will stay together or not. When I watched other seasons I was happy to watch it because when I looked things up some of the couple's are still married so yay! But in this season all the couple's eventually divorce. One stays together for a tiny bit and that's why I say eventually. But since I looked everything up it makes me irritated about Nick and Sonia but I guess I will save that information untill and if I watch the next episode and if I write the next episode but if I don't you can look it up.

Other shows I have watched since then have been:

Grey's Anatomy and I meant to write a post and didn't so I am not sure if I remember enough stuff to write a review. All I can say is everything was shocking! Most ended good but a few ended bad.

Also I think most shows from the 19/20 season are going to be short on episodes because of coronavirus. A while back I watched legacies and that was not supposed to be the last episode but they weren't able to finish the season and the season ended on such a cliffhanger. Although a cliffhanger is what most want at the end of a season it wasn't as big a cliffhanger as last season/season 1 (spoiler) where no one remembers her (the main character).

Freud but I only watched a few episodes.

Charmed which I have not finished and could still write about. Small review; The show is not as good as the original Charmed which I watched when it originally came out on TV and I watched it on Netflix a year or two ago. On that note it doesn't compel me to binge watch it. Although I think I did binge the first season which I think was better than this season.

I'm rewatching Avatar The Last Airbender with my daughter.

My daughter and I also watched the new season of she-ra. It was the last season and there are 5 total. It was a good season and it ended really good too! We watched that one fast and it was a few weeks ago so I almost forgot to mention this. Anyways she really liked the show and so did I actually. So try it out. For your children it is more for a little older like 8-12. There is a lot of fighting, torture and even some death throughout the whole show (not a lot in season 5 but in the series as a whole). My daughter will not watch scary shows (she refuses and runs out even if something is slightly scary) so I am telling you it's fine for kids since she approves but just be warned. But it ends really good in the end!

I am rewatching some episodes (I say some because my husband watches stuff without me even if we start watching together. Yes that irritates me.) of Parks and Rec and that show is funny!

I can't remember what else I watched I know Good Witch, Gets Anatomy and Charmed came on Netflix around the same time though.

Also more shows coming out soon I know since Netflix added this latest tab.

Also I used to be so into Tv Tv and more TV but the last couple weeks I started reading on reading apps and it has been fun. Don't worry I will still make time for TV. Plus this month has been filled with my daughters birthday and school ending officially. I'm saying it like that because she had not been back to school since March 12th and I have had to struggle to help her and struggle to get her to do the work. I decided she didn't get enough so she's doing online summer school and I guess I'm up for the challenge still of helping/teaching her.

Tell me what you think about the shows such as your opinion and my opinion of the show. Also Thank you for reading.

[masterserris]

the rise of skywalker = good

spoilers under cut you were warned

we love sheev the movie

best movie? no. room for improvement? yes. a really good movie overall and the characters were good and made overall good/decently logical choices? absolutely.

 fin good. i love him. and the obvious hint he can use the force is 10/10 he did so much work in this movie. i like poe/fin or rey/fin. or all three together, fuck it, they all hugged in the end anyways

poe is good he’s a good boy him and finn are so good. poe gets a lot of development and care and we love that he struggles but loves his friends and wins in the end by believing in others to come. (he did think they lost but only for a second. he was proven right that people would come. thanks lando we appreciate you here.)

rey is amazing and her growth/struggle is great i love that she’s a palpatine that’s so metal. and she stays good oough yess. palpatine wins in the end? or at least A palpatine? the only survivor? no more sith OR jedi. just. rey palpatine and any other new force users like fin. FINALLLY, evil wins! kinda lmao hahhaahhaha

i like how technically the series stared with palpatine and ended with rey. 

it started with a slave child in the desert (anakin) who became dark, and ended with a child soldier in the dark who became light at the end (ben)

-

the sheev-ening. we love emperor step peppers. he’s so good in this. force storm ya’ll!! 

“hiS pLaN MakEs nO sEnSe!!1!”

shut tf up. either he possesses rey once she killed him, or he sucks the life outta her and restores himself once he found out about that bond power with ben or force healing whatever it was if she refused (like he did), or just kills her and sends his troops out to take everything over like. that’s not a bad plan bro. he wins either way. the only reason he lost is because the dummy killed himself with his own force lighting (AGAIN, DIDNT YOU LEARN FROM EPISODE 3 OLD MAN????). she did not strike him down, she defended. he killed himself, technically. she pulled a luke in that sense. it was not the jedi way. (though i guess by the end she is neither sith nor jedi)

plus he made an armada in secret the man was geared for success and had access to cloning tech too, as shown by snoke. if he couldnt have rey, he would have cloned himself or some shit. he has space voodoo, the man is scary and i love him for it. 

-

ben was. ok. kylo was much more intimidating and straight forward with his actions at least. and ben switching sides made sense. what i didnt like was his ending very much. why tf did he and rey kiss????? they were enemies for 2 and 3/4 movies. they didnt even speak until he showed up to help fight palpatine. 

there is a bit of tension but not romantic whatever, he just poofed once he resurrected rey anyways. rip all skywalkers 2019

she is an adopted skywalker and that’s nice.

side tangent bc i’ve been seeing some fans crying over ben’s death, which i get it if you are a big fan of him:

((i guess i was just way more invested into rey as a character than ben solo. he was. there. he was alright, i could see the struggle but the tone-shift from TLJ really threw things wack and i just ended up not caring too much when he died unforntuately. i wish i did more. i mean it was sad, it would have been neat if he lived, but i kinda saw it coming as soon as rey “died”

im like, oh, he’s gonna climb up bc of course he’s fine and then save her since he saw her use force healing, so he’s gonna try it. he’s resurrecting the dead so it’s either gonna kill him or really make him weak. we got the former so. yeah. it was anticipated kinda. leia dying was much more emotional for me i guess. the love between her and her son was way more impactful than ben and rey. 

like i said!! they were enemies for so long!! he tried to reach out, but he was a slimey dark side bitch who was trying to convert her and she knew it and wasnt down with that shit!! that aint romantic ya’ll!! christ! he was only good for 20 minutes before he died and they didnt even talk before he just showed up! if they had more time really getting into it and if he was good and reached out to her to talk, that would have been way better and more convincing is all im saying. 

sure they fought together on snoke’s ship and talked, but it was still very. scary for rey. and then he attacked her friends and rebellion again! bitch, why did she kiss him!?

nothing against reylo shippers, i really dont care, that’s your business, i personally enjoy fin/rey much more, im just saying it seems forced in this situation. they tried to kill each other so many times. that’s animosity, not love.))

WHERE WAS ANAKIN AND OBI FORCE GHOST UGH. at least we got all of the voices of the jedi past helping rey in the climax that was awesome (including jin, obi, yoda, anakin, luke, leia, ect)

yeah also rip leia. she should have died in the second movie but she was good in this and it really hit the feels since carrie is... dead for real.

luke was good in this!!!! helpful boy!!! nice boy!!! i liked the flash back to when he trained leia it was so sweet to see them young again, if only for a moment.

the han solo scene was good ough my heart. 

all of the character’s choices were overall good and made sense in the scheme of things, everything was streamlined bc it had to be.

it kinda felt like 2 movies crammed into 1 but it kinda worked and that makes sense bc of TLJ’s.... choices and changes in direction. 

i dont think this movie was a train wreck. it’d place it as my 3rd fav star wars movie. for now, i may shift things around but you get the idea.

my current rankings so far for main line live action sw movies 

(rogue one would be at 4 along with revenge of the sith and i didnt care enough to see solo.)

1. empire strikes back (obvious pick)

2. a new hope (luke is best boy)

3. rise of skywalker (as listed above)

4. revenge of the sith (clone wars show really got me to like older anakin. and obi is just. 10/10 in general. speaking of generals, i love grievous. and commander rex. rip all clones and jedi tho. F)

5/6. return of the jedi/force awakens (about even) 

[the thing about return of the jedi is that the ending whole section with the death star and vader and palpatine and the struggle against jabba were really good! it just a lot of other stuff is... meh in the film]

7. the last jedi (sorry had to do it to ya. also rip Phasma)

8/9. phantom menace/attack of the clones (ya’ll know why)

im so glad im rewatching the clone wars show it was so good and oughghghg so good. i love the clones so damn much and everyone so much

star wars good ya’ll

anyways, i already loved palpatine and im just wildin’ right now we love a emperor. a queen. a bad bitch you cant kill. just vibin. like damn, iconic. he said “do it” and everything. a meme legend and godsend

in sheev we trust. you belong with sheev. real sheev hours. the sheev-ening. palpatine-ception. you name it, we vibe with it

NOW I WANT A NICE AU WHERE THE CHARACTERS LIVE AND PALPATINE IS JUST A GRANDDAD. scary but nice granddad to rey or some shit. anakin is still around, they are all still around. just silly fun alright?

LMFAO ROTTEN TOMATOES PUTS IT AT A 56% BUT HAS AN AUDIENCE RATHING OF 86% WTF LMFAOOOO THESE PEOPLE ARE HACKS

the reverse of TLJ and i can see why the stupid irony lmFAO

the “thank you rian johnson” tag trending on twitter is wack and it’s dumb. his movie was dumb ya’ll. that’s my take and im not alone. im not some crazy hardcore fan either nor do i care that much about the politics or what ever. the characters in TLJ made REALLY dumb decisions that got their butts kicked and people killed over and over and it was not fun to watch everyone being dumb and dying, alright? wack. bad vibes. 

i didn’t care for the “thank you jj abrams” tag either bc both tags ended up just being one taking pot-shots at the other and it was full of nasty vibes. just a lot of negative bullshit and only a few good comments just saying what they liked about those movies. i appreciate when people just say they like something. even if it’s something i PERSONALLY dont like, it’s neat to see. but when people bitch and moan, even if i agree personally, it isnt that fun. it’s annoying as hell, esp if it’s mostly unfounded or just repeated a million times.

like months later, or also about something from years ago, people still havent shut up about it. that’s when i get pissed off. like, sure, hate something. say you hate it, whatever. your blog your platform, go off queen, but then shut up please and dont drag it out forever. people dont like negativity so expect people to leave your ass behind if you keep at it. or get blocked or whatever. 

negative shit all the time just aint a good look is all im saying. just love what you love and show it. it’s nice. the good part about fandoms is sharing love for media.

but hey, it’s your life. you do whatever, who am i to say anything?